PRECEDENT : Draco Malfoy II

66

            When he leaves the next morning, he doesn't say good-bye. I notice it this time, and I try to think back to all the times he's seen me while here. He's always said he'll be back later. Even here, he lets me know he won't be able to see me before he leaves, and there is still no good-bye. I try to search my mind. There is no pensive here, and probably for the best otherwise I would spend every day until April in it. Instead, I need to focus on keeping my sanity. I had underestimated what the beginning of hiding would do to me. He told me he last saw me two days after Christmas, just to help me keep track.

So, the day he leaves is my 151st day in hiding. Easter is about another hundred days away. There was a little over a hundred days between when he went to Hogwarts and when he came to see me again. There have to be at least a hundred more under my belt. That is will need to focus on.

I try to ration the food that is terrible to duplicate, choosing instead to eat tomato soup for a large portion of my meals. The first day after he is gone, I just plan. I plan out every day and week and keep myself orderly. I need to stick with it. I wouldn't be able to do this otherwise.

Three days before New Year's Eve, I prep for it. After all, it is a muggle holiday, and one I actually like. I practice charms to make the candlesticks I use for light have colour changing flames, and even sparkling ones. When Draco was here, he set my watch to the actual right time, so I will actually know when it is midnight. I decide to let myself have pasta that day, with alfredo sauce, which is extremely limited quantity.

I touch my locket before going to sleep, the one time I've allotted it to myself.

I need you.

I sit upright in bed, looking around the room. I snatch my wand up on the dresser, but I'm not sure what to do. Technically, I think I could apparate to his manor. It would be difficult though. He might not even be there. It's not yet midnight, but since Death Eaters and the people who work for them, Snatchers, like to work under the cover of the night and the exhaustion it brings, he could be anywhere.

Besides, maybe the thought is metaphorical. Maybe he needs me like I need him. Not literally. If he was in danger, what could I do even if I was there?

I don't let myself touch the pendant again. He might just give me the same message once more. That, well, I couldn't bare that. I can't sleep either. So instead, I pace around the room. It's going to throw off my day tomorrow, but I don't think I could sleep if I tried, and I'm trying not to use my bed unless it's for sleep or else I worry I will crawl under the blankets and never get out.

Eventually, I'm fighting to keep myself awake. I sit down, exhaustion taking over my body but my mind still trying to buzz. I sit on the loveseat in here and lean against the cushion. My eyes keep drifting closed. I touch the locket again.

You're never going to forgive me this time.

I stand up to try to keep myself awake, but I can't maintain it. My body is sluggish, exhausted. Finally, I curl up on the loveseat, telling myself it'll just be a second with my eyes closed.

Then, I lose the battle against sleep.

When I open my eyes as dawn breaks, I pull myself upright on the loveseat. My back aches terribly, and I don't think I slept more than an hour.

Tucked into himself at the foot of the loveseat, Draco sleeps.

I look down at him. He doesn't look any worse for wear, although I don't get a good look at his face. I scooch off the side of the loveseat, avoiding his sleeping body. There aren't all that many breakfast foods to make for him. Certainly, nothing he'd like. So, I end up trying to read. I don't want to wake him. Really, I don't want to be awake myself.