Seeing You Again: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Ten

Amara

The wise that say time is an illusion.

I wonder what state of mine they were in when they made this observation. Were they happy? In love? Because if they were, I would have agreed with them. But I'm not happy or in love. I'm empty, a walking shell of a witch. And I'm blatantly aware of the time that is passing.

It's been two thousand one hundred sixty-three minutes since Sebastian told me to go fuck myself.

Two thousand one hundred sixty-three minutes since my heart shattered into a million pieces.

I didn't sleep, again. While I don't want to attend classes today, it's only the second week of the term. So, I don't have much of a choice.

My eyes are clouded as I observe the girl in the mirror. She's dressed like any otherHufflepuff student. Neatly pressed house robes, a perfectly tied tie, an ironed white blouse, and pleated black trousers. If a stranger were to look at her, they would think she was an average student. But I'm not a stranger. I know exactly what walking disaster I am.

And it's all thanks to Sebastian Sallow.

I didn't mean everything I said to Sebastian. I know he cares about me and that he never meant to use me for my magic. Deep down, though, I wonder if he used my friendship for his gain.

I never resented him. I only ever cared for him. These feelings that gurgle in my stomach rise in my throat. I knew it was coming. Sebastian tried to hide his anger toward me, but it could only last so long.

He hates that I left him, that I didn't trust him enough to help me. He despises that during my months of solitude, I let someone take my virginity on a whim. I'm sure he regrets everything now. Our friendship, our kiss...

And I don't blame him.

"Are you ready, Amara?" Poppy asks while placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah." My voice doesn't sound like it belongs to me. It's too faded and shallow.

Either Poppy doesn't notice or she just doesn't say anything. I'm willing to bet it's the second option. Poppy told me that she talked to Sebastian, she also told me that he seemed genuine about listening to me. And he was...for a moment.

Before he went off the charts, typical Sebastian style. I don't know what set him over the edge, me saying that I was a tool for him to use or Rylan. Either way, I'm left grasping on a ledge, begging the universe that I don't fall.

"Let's go. Maybe Defense Against the Dark Arts will cheer you up." Poppy beams at me, but I can't return the sentiment.

With a sigh, I nod. "Okay, let's go."

Poppy is telling me a story as we walk toward Defense Against the Dark Arts, but her words turn to mush the second they enter my brain. I'm walking through a sludge; time passes in a haze. I only come to my senses when Poppy shakes my shoulder, urging me back into my mind.

"Amara, are you okay?" she asks.

I blink a few times to right my vision. When did we get to class? I don't remember walking in, and I certainly don't remember the classroom being set up for dueling.

"I'm fine," I mumble as Professor Hecate talks about the importance of learning defense and offensive when it comes to battling foes. Something I'm all too accustomed to...