Just in case you might have thought that throwing up on people could make you friends, I'm here to assure you that that is never how it works.
Our audience exclaims almost all together in disgust at my puke, as Rodney sputters, "Awh!" He's too furious, beside himself, to even form the string of profanity he seems to want to spew at me.
But I straighten back up and swipe at my mouth, relief coursing through me. I could almost collapse, coming down from the adrenaline rush. And emotionally, I feel so much better now that it's practically like I could conquer the world. Or maybe even Rodney.
The crowd starts to disperse to their classes before the final bell rings, and I venture to Rodney, "Wow, I don't know about you, but I feel a lot better now. Are we good?" I think I know it is ridiculous to hope that he'd agree, but I have to try.
He's incredulous. "Are we good?" He gestures at the puke on him, can't even for a sec, and the ridiculousness of my hope sinks in more fully. "This is not even close to over. Especially if you don't do what's good for you and fix our project situation." He turns and stalks away, his puked-on sleeves held out in front of him in utter disgust.
I slump in defeat as his threatening words loop themselves in my brain... If you don't do what's good for you, good for you, good for you.
What is actually good for me? Not that he meant anything deep or meaningful, just your run-of-the-mill bully words, signaling that he's fully prepared to harm my physical well-being if I don't somehow accomplish what he wants.
Sarah arrives breathless beside me, almost speechless at how dumb all this is. She gestures back behind her at the empty classrooms like what the hell, and I just shake my head, sighing as the two of us start walking to class.
I ask her, "How much chance you think there is of him letting it go if I just figure out a way to do the video?"
"It's possible," she says, but I can tell she's pretty unconvinced.
It could happen, I think to myself. If my life were easy and conflict-free, that's exactly how it would happen. I'd figure out a brilliant way to fudge a video, and everything would fall into place with no more pain, difficulty, or humiliation (even if caving and doing the video is pretty wimpy of me). Maybe my last week of high school would even be pleasant, or fun, or somewhat enjoyable.
But such is not my fate.
Because not only do things remain in this crappy status quo for me, but they're also falling into place to become spectacularly shittier, believe it or not. The catalyst for this is happening in the background behind me at this very moment: A man known to all of Dermont High School merely as the Evil Janitor is materializing out of a utility closet with a bucket and a mop.
If you hear "Evil Janitor" and think maybe of some mischievous but ultimately good-hearted guy who occasionally seems like he might have it out for the people he works cleaning up after, you'd be mistaken.
You would be seriously hard-pressed to find evidence of this Evil Janitor having a good heart deep down. This guy is old, wrinkled in face and manner, and seems every day as if he's on a quest to make anyone and everyone's day as miserable as his is if he has any chance to at all. He might even go out of his way to make it happen. It seems that nothing makes him happier than making others unhappy.
No one really knows what the Evil Janitor's deal is, but theories about him among the student body run the range of ex-con to Freemason to guy competing for the Guinness Book of World Records in the "Least Liked Person in the World" category.
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