The Good, The Bad, and The Genius(ON HOLD)

A Turtle Named Frankie

"Did you know that each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the Middle Ages?" I point out what must be my twentieth fact I've told him in the car "The hearts represented the Church, spades represented the military, clubs represented agriculture, and diamonds represented the merchant class."

"No, I didn't know that," Tanner says in a monotone voice for what must be the twentieth time

"You should probably be writing these down," I state

"While I'm driving?" Tanner asks bewildered

"Oh," I said, just now realizing we were still in his car "Then do you want me to write them down for you?"

"No!" Tanner interjected, making me jump in surprise, but then composes himself "No, I just meant that uh I'll always have 'em up here" he tap his forehead.

I sat there quietly in thought. "Are you referring to your cranium or your forehead? Because one can contain information and one can--"

"Seriously, Alex?" Tanner said annoyed "You think I'm referring to my forehead?"

"No!" I laughed "It was a, oh what's the word--oh! It was a joke."

Tanner looked over a me quizzically. "Then we're definitely going to have to work on your jokes."

I nod in agreement. "Agreed."

"Alright," Tanner said, parking the car in the lot across from the boardwalk "We're here."

I got out of the cherry red Mustang pulled my hood over my head. It was still raining like how it had been all day. We walked to the boardwalk and made our way to the bookstore. As we approached the store, I was so focused on making it to my destination, I didn't even see a box turtle right in front of my feet.

"Alex!" Tanner exclaimed, making me trip over my own feet and land on the ground, face-to-face with the box turtle.

I screamed as the creature made its way towards me, it's small, wet legs moving slowly and menacingly.

Tanner quickly scooped up the turtle--with his bare hands I might add--and held him on his chest. "Are you okay?" He asked

"I most certainly am not!" I exclaimed, getting off the wet wooden planks

"I wasn't talking to you," Tanner rolled his eyes "I was talking to the turtle. You nearly scared him to death."

"I nearly scared it to death?" I said with bewilderment

"Yes," Tanner said, and then added while protectively putting his hand on he turtle's shell "And it is a he."

"And just how would you know that?" I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Look," Tanner tried to put the turtle's backside in my face, but I pushed his hands away "His tail is long, all males have long tails."

I was impressed. I mentally kept that fact in the little pandora box in the back of my mind. "Noted, now put him down and let's go."

"Aww," Tanner whined and looked down at me with puppy eyes "Can't we keep him?"

"Ha! Absolutely not!" I huffed

"But think of all the things that could happen to this little guy if we don't keep him." Tanner tried

"He'll be fine!" I assured him

"He could...die" Tanner said devastated

"...and? So what?" I said, rolling my eyes

"What do you mean 'so what'?" He exclaimed and covered the turtle's tiny ears, in fear of him hearing our conversation (as if it actually understood the English language).