Later ⏰ that evening 🌇 Shuhei walked🚶into the Communication 📞 Headquarter, sitting down in his seat 🪑 at the front of the table 🍽️ and heaving a sigh 😮💨, his head in his hands ✋✋. That went... some way. Not 🙅 his way or one 1️⃣ of the trillion ways he thought 🧠 up of last night 🌚, but a way that didn't ❌ kill 🔪🩸 him or put him on a hit 🔫 list at least. If he were, he would have to face that battle 🗡️🤺 junkie and his lieutenant. So he had to also plan 📝 that out or else he was totally screwed 🔩😵 in the worst ways possible.
"Hi Shuhei~" Rangiku Matsumoto said, her assets 👙 jiggling in front of Shuhei's face. There was a day ☀️☁️ once 1️⃣ upon a time ⏱️ where he tried rizzing 😜😏🔥🥴 her up 👆, but instead got wasted 🗑️ and she took compromising pictures 📸 of him apparently drunkenly 🍻🥴 streaking 🧢👕👖🧦 and pole 💈 dancing 🕺very very sensually 🥵🥵🥵 on a random house 🏡 pipe 💈. Needless to say, he never ❌ tried her again.
"What is it?" He groaned 🙄😩, not 🚫 having slept 🛌🥱 a single wink 😢.
"Can I post 🤳 this totally innocent 😇 and non-incriminating picture 📸 in this month's book 📔?"
"Sure, go ahead," he mumbled, waving 👋 her off like some fly 🪰. She giggled 🤭 and ran 🏃♀️💨 off somewhere.
The next ➡️ day ☀️ Shuhei woke up to his door 🚪 blasting 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 open and slamming into his face. That hurt 🤕 like a bitch, but he wasn't about to pussy 🐱 out in front of someone. When he looked 👀 up ⬆️ after moving the dead door 🚪 to the side ⬅️ he froze 🥶 and wished the door 🚪 went through his head or decapitated 🔪🔪🔪 him.
It was fucking Kenpachi Zaraki.
Not only that, he was holding this month's issue 📔.
And not ONLY ONLY THAT! It was flipped to a page 📃 where there was a photo 📷.
Of him 🧍♂️.
And.
Daisy 🧍♀️.
"W-wait ⏳!" Shuhei screamed 📢📢📢 like a lil bitch, scooting back further and further on his bed 🛏️ as the book 📔 was shoved more and more into his face. "I can explain!"
"And why the hell 👹🔥 should I hear 👂 you out?" Kenpachi demanded like a true thug 🥷.
"It's not ❌ what it looks 👀 like!"
"It better not 🚫, or you're in for a hell 👹🔥 of a time ⏳!"
TO BE CONTINUED...... ⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰
YOU ARE READING
The Bible of Shuhei
FanfictionShuhei Hisagi was THE fuck boy of the Seireitei. Thirsty? Definitely. Perverted? Deadass. Flirty? That was HIS thing. But then it all changed when Daisy came. A crack X Shuhei that's even more crack than all my of my other stories (yes, even the one...
