soukoku one shots

you wont come back anyway

Living is tiring. Truely.

To dazai it definitely is.
Something made him want to live anyway. Someone made him want to enjoy living, yes, chuuya did.

If you ask Dazai chuuya was the only thing which kept him going. Dazai learned how to enjoy living, with Chuuya. Without him in his life, he would have ended it long before.

It was a festival night. Dazai was as always, kind of fighting with Chuuya again.

"Hey, you dont wanna get drowned right now." Chuuya warned him. Despite being warned, dazai didn't give a damn.
"Of course i want to, want to commit a beautiful double suicide like that? Could've just asked." he mocked as chuuya sighed.

"I love night festivals, you know." Chuuya, at once said, while looking at the sky. His ginger hair was beautifully dancing with the gentle breeze as the brunette's gaze towards him softened.

"You look pretty."

Chuuya looked at him and gave him a faint smile. "You think so? I wish i was here with you." he said as Dazai frowned.

"You are here with me." dazai said as his gaze softened even more as chuuya was literally glowing. The fireworks started.

Chuuya looked absolutely amazing.

"I'm not here, Dazai." chuuya gave an absentminded smile as he said that. Dazai's smile was gone almost, it slowly faded away. "You're right in front of me, chuuya."

"Dazai,"

"You're right in front of me."

"Dazai.. Don't be like this. You definitely know i'm not here. Please, be happy without me. Enjoy living.. Without me." Chuuya smiled at him.

"Have some sleep afterwards, hm? you got some ugly eyebags there." He added, as Dazai's expression became faint.

"Chuuya.. You're here.. You're here plea-"

"Dazai," someone called him from behind. It was Oda, who also came with him at the festival. Dazai was cut off and immediately turned to Oda anyway.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Chuuya. He keeps saying cringe emotional stuff in an attempt to make me cry but he won't-" he turned around to see Chuuya, but he wasn't there. Surely, he wasn't there. He was never there.

"Where the fuck are you, slug? You cant hide from me for long. You know that." Dazai talked with himself as Oda sighed, as it had been a frequent situation.
"You also have seen Chuuya, haven't you?"

"Chuuya is not here, Dazai. He's gone." Oda finally told him, once again. So that dazai regains his senses. Dazai went silent as he hit realization. Chuuya is dead, he won't come back anymore. He looked at the night sky which was filled with stars. He saw the fireworks as well.

"Ah... Then.. Why was he.. Here.. A while ago?" he asked, after a moment of silence, in a faint voice. As if he was trying his best to hold his tears back.

"It's just your imagination. It got too strong, he was never here with you in the first place. I've told you this many times, you don't wanna believe me. You're just.. Hallucinating." Oda broke it to him as Dazai chuckled sadly.

"If i'd been there.. He.. Wouldn't have died.. That day he.. used corruption without me being present. such a stupidass.." he said to Oda.

"It's not your fault, Dazai."

Dazai remained silent. He wanted to cry, but instead, he smiled at the firework.

"Chuuya loves fireworks, he was enjoying it very much." Oda nodded to his saying. He was definitely concerned about how Dazai mentally broke down after chuuya's death from the very first place. He could do nothing anyway, to fix the hole in his heart.

"I know, chuuya's here. He would be here with me forever. I hope he comes back again to annoy me, or to kill me." Dazai said, still looking at the sky.

"..Or to just stay with me."