Survivors Guilt

Comfort

(Y/n) hadn't expected this when he had imagined what Jess was going through. Sure he had known it was bad but this was a whole other level.

She looked like shit, she was skinny as hell, she was paranoid, and she obviously hadn't left her bed in days. Jessica Cruz had always seemed like one of the strongest people he knew but now she seemed like she could keel over and die at any moment.

He had just sat her back down on her bed and she was currently wiping her tears away. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again" she whispered as she looked up at the boy.

"I tried getting in touch with you" (y/n) replied simply as he glanced at the girls phone which was on her nightstand.

"Yeah but... I thought you were angry at me... for leaving you" her tears immediately started falling again twice as fast as before. "I thought you would- you would yell and- and-"

(Y/n) frowned and cut her off. "I am angry at you" her tears fell faster so the boy elaborated. "You left me to die, I'm not happy about that but if you had just talked to me afterwards I could have tried to forgive that. You didn't though. You ignored me when I needed you, and you obviously needed me t-"

"I did" Jess replied simply and coldly as she wiped her tears away and stopped crying. "So leave. I'm fine, no need for you to stay if you don't want to"

"That's not what I was getting at" (y/n) replied as he watched Jessica lay down and get under her blanket, facing away from the boy. "I'm angry but I still care about you. That's why I'm here"

"You're here because Sara guilted you into it" Jess replied quietly as she started crying again.

"Jess... if you were anyone else and she had asked me to come I wouldn't have" the boy blatantly replied as he watched her go still. "Believe it or not you're not the only one who was fucked up by what happened. I haven't left my apartment either, I've been stress eating constantly, and I just... I hate my life right now. But Sara called me and said you needed help. You're my friend, my only friend, even if I am pissed at you. So I'm here"

Jess was silent, still facing away from the boy. "Thank you" she whispered hoarsely as she wiped her tears away. "I- I'm sorry I left you. I didn't- I didn't mean to but- but by the time I realized-" she quickly burst into tears as she relived the moment in her head. The gunshots ringing in her ears.

"Yeah. Yeah I get it" (y/n) replied as he sat down on Jessica's bed beside her, also reliving the moment in his mind. He had been over and over through this whole conversation but now it was starting to overwhelm him. "Can- do you mind if I lay down?"

"Go ahead!" Jess quickly turned to the boy as she stopped crying and moved over. "You okay?" She asked as she watched the boy carefully lay down as he clutched his head.

"About as okay as you are right now" he replied with a frown.

"That bad hm?" Jess asked as she tried to offer a joking smile but failed.

(Y/n) let out a small sarcastic laugh after those words but also let out a small smile. "Ha ha" he rubbed some sweat off his forehead.

Jess frowned as she watched her friend suffering in a similar way to how she had been suffering. "I guess I never really... I knew you'd be affected too but... it just never really felt real until now"

"I get it" (y/n) spoke quietly as he watched Jess reach over and run her hand over his arm comfortingly. "Your sister told me how bad you were and I still didn't expect you to be this shitty. I mean you're skinny as a twig, it's freaky"

Jess frowned and nodded. "Well... I promise that from now on when you call I'll pick up, alright? Maybe that'll help both of us"

"Alright" (y/n) nodded slowly as he finally stopped reliving the dreaded moment in his head. "But until Sara gets here so she can drive me I'm staying here"

Jess nodded. "I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want to lose-" she started getting choked up. "You're my best friend. Stay here as long as you want"

"Thanks" the boy smiled as Jess finally pulled her hand back to her side now that she was done comforting him.

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Sara Cruz finally arrived at the apartment as the sun had started going down. "Jess? (Y/n)? I'm coming in!" She announced herself before unlocking the door and entering the apartment.

As Sara entered the Apartment she closed the door behind her and locked it before placing down the bag that held what Jess had asked for and heading to Jess' room.

"Hey-" she spoke as she pushed open the door and peaked her head in. She stopped herself from continuing as she noticed the two inhabitants of the bed were fast asleep. They were on opposite sides of the bed but they were adorable as they lay there, more peaceful than Sara had seen either of them in what felt to be forever.

Sara watched them for another moment before slowly exiting the room. As long as they were asleep and she was here she may as well install the doorbell camera that she had bought for her sister. After that she'd stay the night and take (y/n) back to his place in the morning.

For now she figured she may as well let them get their rest, god knows they both needed the peace that she hoped their dreams would bring them, although she suspected that she may instead have to deal with them waking from nightmares at some point during the night.

Word count: 1014