KATHA

13 KATHA - ENDEARING

I had woken up to his scent lingering in the air. The side where he slept off the night was cold yet I couldn't help but roll over and bask in whatever that was left of him like a shameless little wench. Fragrant cold seeped into my skin and warmth bloomed across my veins and my heart responded in the earnest. Vague memories plagued my mind. He had treated my cuts and now they weren't hurting at all. They were perfectly healing.

I'd also woken up to a rose, this time with the thorns clipped, a gajra and a pair of silver jhumkas that was the prettiest pair I'd ever laid my eyes on. His note said, 'Nothing and no one is allowed to bring you any pain but me. Know that I'm watching.'

K. K. K. Rajas. Rajas. Rajas. What was the K for ? A surname ?

I sighed. I had no energy to spare to that thought for my mind already had its wheels running. Everything he'd said last night was echoing in my aching head like ocean waves crashing against a cliff.

Now why would I do that, Little gazelle ? I love holding you close.

Because since the moment I saw you, you weren't yours. You were mine. And I was yours. The heart thumping in your chest ? It's mine. Just like I carry yours.

But you do belong to me, love. You are me and mine. You own all of me, and I own you. You consume me, and soon I'd embed myself so deep into every recess of your being, you won't know where you begun and I ended.

Yes, my heart.

My. Heart. What. The. Hell. I buried my head in the pillows and screamed. Why did he have to say things like that ? Do things like that ? I wanted to hate him. Loathe him. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. I wanted to push him away. To not let him do all those things to me, I could fight him back. I killed fourteen men for gods sake ! But I couldn't do anything about this man. Why ? Because I wanted him. And everything he did. If my mother was dead already, she would've been rolling in her grave along with her Christian husband at my thoughts, at my actions, at my hollow existence. Society didn't frown upon her ridiculous marriage but would've at one dead daughter and one barely alive after suffering a brutal night at the hands of monsters if she sought and fought for justice.

The one person that was supposed to feel my pain. The one to fight had turned a blind eye. Muted herself and tried to mute me.

Ugh. All the butterflies in my stomach withered and died at that wretched woman's thought.

Sighing, I rushed to the bathroom to freshen up. An hour later, I was dressed in a plain maroon georgette saree paired with a black collared blouse thanks to that bastard Rajas for giving me all those marks. I tied my hair in a loose half ponytail with a gajra pinned there which was somehow fresh because of the cold. Waves of wayward strands framed my face and silver jhumkas peeked from behind those lustrous tendrils. I placed a black bindi between my brows and left the room after dousing in a subtle floral perfume.

Rishi was already off to court and I rushed into my car and sped downtown. I was to work at shop not alone but with only Ravi. A cleaner who had not an idea about waiting tables, handling patrons or brewing teas and coffees. I was in a rush when I entered the shop, I was engulfed by the same scents and ambience and Gulabi Ankhen by Mohammed Rafi and R. D. Burman floated to my ears. There were a few patrons which Ravi had somehow managed to serve. Most of the food was already prepared by Karina like always. She hated the world and liked to sleep the entire day to avoid it. Hence, she worked all night to prepare for next day's servings. She was my favourite girl. But we hardly met since she always appeared like a ghost after midnight. And I realised I'd left my purse in my car. Cursing, I turned on my heels and got bumped in someone as tall as a goddamn wall.