confederate: and all the girlies say im pretty fly for a white guy-
spain: what girls?
confederate: . . . *sobs in widow*
------
(this is a scene from the office)
russia: *buckling his seatbelt* really, you're gonna sit in the back?
germany: uh, yeah. it's the safest part of a car. in the event of a crash, *starts buckling his seatbelt* the driver always protects his side first-
russia: *slams brakes*
germany: *headbuts the seat*
-----
( i actually got this from a afton dare video on yt by xXCharlieXx: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g-M7RadLdA. credit to them)
*ussr meets his dad again*
. . .
russian empire: why do you dress so raggy?
. . .
ussr: why do you look so emo?
. . .
russian empire: why're you so ugly?
. . .
ussr: i got it from you .
. . .
russian empire: why was third reich so much better than you?
. . .
ussr: you adopt him then. i don't need you as a father.
. . .
russian empire: why're you so....
tall?
(russian empire: 6'12, ussr: 7'8)
ussr: . . .
ussr: come here fatha
*disgusted with eachother hug*
russian empire: i hate you.
ussr: i hate you too.
-------
GOP (grand old party/republican party): *walking off a stage after giving a rally*
americom (commuist side of america): that sounded terrible.
GOP: ... says the one with no speech experience. i am-
americom: shut up, SHUT UP WITH THAT, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
GOP: OH GOSH, ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING WRONG??
americom: I'M AFRAID OF YOU GOING ON ABOUT HOW YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD POLITICIAN FOR THREE HOURS. NO ONE CARESSSS!!! EVERYONE KNOWS AND NO ONE CARESSS!
GOP: I AM THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO UNDERSTANDS AND YOU'RE CONSTANTLY ACTING LIKE A CHILD ABOUT IT
americom: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
GOP: YOU CAN'T JUST-
americom: SHUT UPPPP!!!!
GOP: NO YOU SHUT UP-
*they tackle eachother*
-------
germany: *to austria* if you have, THREE EUROS, three Euros. And you take away two, how many, euros, do you have?
austria: ... twenty six-
germany: *flips the table* NO!!!
YOU ARE READING
countryhumans incorrect quotes, anyone?
Humorsome of these might be original? most probably just from my favorite tv shows or things i saw on fnaf tiktok compilations on youtube, probably gacha skits i watched. this is my au and idc if u hate it.
