Van Der Stoffels (Jens x Lucas) (2019)

Woensdag 14.45 (January 15th 2020)

"Oh to see without me eyes ..." Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens started playing as the last scene of the movie rolled over the screen. Lucas sat with his mouth agape and tried to fight the tear about to roll down his cheek. By now they were both lying comfortably down in Jens' bed, and Lucas had even taken off his hoodie - he was unsure why he felt so warm in the cold room.

"Wha- what?" he exclaimed and turned to Jens, who was sat laughing at his reaction, before he took a hit of the blunt they'd been sharing. There wasn't much of it left.

"How-, what am I supposed to..." Lucas started laughing too, as a tear started falling.

"I didn't know it'd have such an effect on you!" Jens reached out to wipe the tear away from Lucas' flushed face.

The physical touch took Lucas even more out of his headspace. Jens seemed to reconsider his thought.

"The weed, I mean - you're a lightweight, dude!" Jens teased and pushed Lucas' shoulder. "Oh, fuck off man!" He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"How come you're not even reacting! How many times have you seen this movie?" Lucas inquired.

"Too many to count, at least 10 times," Jens smiled.

"10 times!" Lucas was dumbfounded. "Why would you do that to yourself?" he looked into Jens' red eyes. "Timothée Chalamet, dude." He nudged to the screen. Lucas didn't know what to say.

They'd gone the whole movie without even mentioning one of the key themes; queer romance.
The weed had made Luc even more internally paranoid and alert on his actions, and everytime there'd been a romance or sexual scene between the male leads, he'd acted like he was watching a sex-scene with his parents. As if he wasn't even there.

Lucas didn't even notice he'd been zoning out since Jens' answer. Jens looked concerned.

"Look, if you have a problem-" Jens started, and scooted away, from where they'd accidentally ended up lying close to each other. "No! No problem, I just..." Lucas started but trailed off.

Jens continued: "I know some straight guys for some reason have a hard time even trying to fathom the existence of people different from them, I just - I just don't want to go through the hassle, ..." The rest turned into a blur for Luc.

Lucas was unsure of what to say. He didn't have a problem with Jens. He was just trying to stop his mouth from oversharing - something he was prone to do, while high. This, instead, resulted in him being overly silent and maybe sending unintended messages. "Jens," he interrupted.

He tried to find Jens' eyes, but felt himself getting dizzy, seeing the pain that seemed to have been inflicted in them. He felt his hands reaching towards them, and before he'd even processed what was happening, he was covering Jens' eyes with his hands. "Stop that," Lucas said. He wanted Jens to stop worrying. "What is happening?" Jens was taken aback. "Stop with the eyes." Lucas managed to say.

"Oh man, you're so high," Jens laughed and sighed with relief. Jens brought down Lucas' hands with his own, and placed them in his lap. "I think I need to get you home," Jens stated.

The word home triggered a response in Lucas. He'd completely forgotten he had agreed to help Jayden clear the room, he'd been allowed to crash. "What time is it?" Lucas' mind went a little frantic. "Like three, I think?" Jens responded. "I have to go, uh, see you," Lucas jumped off the bed, sprinted to his shoes and was out the door, before his mind had even caught up to his actions.