In the shadows L.S.

20. Scars

Louis' POV
Harry is sleeping and it's utterly adorable , he's snoring a little.
Today we are gonna find a place to stay together since we runned away and it is dangerous to just stay at my mom's place.

'Louis are you gonna wake him or do I need to wake him' My mom said standing next to me 'I'll do' I said.
'He's cute , treat him good be a gentle man he'll like that' She said winking at me , I smile. I sit down next to him 'Wake up princess' I said ruffling his messy curls. 'Mmmmm' He whined 'No leave me alone twink' He said in his deep morning voice. I raise my eyebrow 'I beg your pardon? I'm not a twink' I said.

'Shut up you are, I try to sleep' He whined even harder 'Are we gonna play hard?' I jump on the top of him and start tickling his sides. He starts laughing 'L-l-louis stop y-you b-b-b-bloody IDIOT' he laughed. 'IM UP IM UP OKAY STOP' He yelled.
I get off him satisfied.

We eat peaceful our breakfast until the twins come run downstairs 'HARRREH HAARRREH' They yelled. I laugh almost choke in my toast.
'CAN WE PLEASE DO YOUR HAIR IT IS SO PRETTY AND CURLY' They yelled , Harry chokes on his cereal. I only start laughing harder. 'Come on don't let my sisters down' I said. 'Uhm what did you girls had in mind?' He asked smirk on his face 'We thought maybe we can style your hair and than pigtails right Dais?' Phoebe said Harry smiles falls. 'You can put my hair in pigtails but I'm not really fond of the idea of my hair styling' He said.

'But I am, I tie him to a chair and you can style his hair' I said smirking evilly at him. 'It's not you do it for the first time so' Harry said slamming a hand in the front of his mouth.
The twins look confused at me 'He's joking' I said they giggle and come back with a styling iron.
~*~

'I hate you' Harry said pout on his face in the passengerseat , I giggle 'I love your hair style' I burst out in laughter. He huffs angrily 'Stupid twins with stupid puppy eyes and a stupid brother' He mumbled.
'Oh stop nagging princess' I said.

'Is that Luke?' I questioned out loud , I roll down the window 'LUKEY!' I yelled he scared the shit out and spots the car 'Fuck you, you scared' He said I laugh.
I park the car under protest from Harry. I step out of the car and bro hug Luke 'So is this something Horan wanted or are you a free bird again?' He asked , he's a ex worker from Niall ,he escaped a kind of.
'Oh who's the young bird in the car with the lucious locks' He said pointing at Harry and once again I start laughing really loud.

'He's my grumpy princess aren't you Styles?' I teased Harry 'You really want me to attack you , don't you twink?' He said little smirk on his face. Luke laughs 'The fact you didn't kill him yet says about how much he means to you you beat the living shit out of me when I call you twink' He said. 'His name is Harry and he was actually a victim of Horan' I explained. Luke makes a high pitched noise 'THATS SO ROMANTIC STOCKHOLM SYNDROME ALERT' He yelled in my face. I place a finger on his lips.

'Sssh don't fangirl to much Princess Grumpy won't like that' I said 'Well who done that?' Harry growled. Luke laughs 'Soulmates but I better get going so you can be alone' he said smirking winking at me. 'Bye bye gorgeous!' He yelled to Harry with a wink. Harry flustered red , I step back inside.

3 hours passed and we're stopping to stay in a motel. 'I'm tired' Harry whimpered 'I know , I know darling we only have to get a room and than you can sleep' I said tired of his nagging all the time. The only moment he stopped nagging was when I threw my water on his Harry and it dried up curly again.

'Can you drag me inside?' He asked smile dancing on his face 'People will look weird at us' I said trying to hide my smile 'So?' He asked. I drag him in bridalstyle inside 'Yeah hi' I said to the woman behind the counter , she looks weird at us. 'Hi how can I help you both?' She asked , I hear Harry giggle in my chest 'A room for two' I asked.

'We embaressed ourselves' I said laying Harry on the queen-sized bed.
'I don't give a fuck' He sighed 'You are strong' He suddenly said. I blush a bit 'Thanks' I lay down next to him.
'Sorry that i'n gonna ask but why do you cut?' He asked , I feel my chest tighten. 'I'm sorry' Harry said , he must have seen me tense. 'Wait' I said I turn the lights off 'Way do you turn the lights off?' Harry asked

{A/N okay credits to @JeddieJay I kind of stole this from him read his stories there awesome and hilarious}

'Because I feel comfortable if you can't see my face when I tell you this' I said. Harry answered with a okay.
'I do it because I can't ever get it right , it always been this way the thing is I never knew that until I turned 16 I thought I was just not lucky' I inhale deeply. 'My mom and dad divorced , my mom was broken but fake smiled it away I always noticed it and blamed it on myself I thought it was my fault dad left and you know what the reason was?' I almost yelled the last sentence. 'It was because of me! It was because he thought I was gay and my mom the good woman she is always would support me but he didn't he couldn't live with the shame of his faggot son' Tears rolled down my cheeks.

'When I was 16 I found out about this, I was so angry that I made a hole in the wall. It was my fault , I caused pain I should be the one who get punished. I took my sciccors out and cutted my ankles I didn't dare to cut my wrists I remember the burning feeling it was so addicting and calming' I tremble all over , I know I want it.

'The next day I of course had to go to school, I never been really confident Harry if you believe me or not. Kids kind of liked to judge me on my height , more femine body , the way I dress and my way of acting. That day on school I was scared anyone would notice thankfully no one did but on footie practice my friends did' I take a deep breath.
'They laughed and asked if I was some kind of emo I remember the pain in my chest growing I laughed with them and said I just cutted myself open accidentally of course I lied' I said.

'But that isn't still why I cut' I said , I can't thank Harry for not asking questions through my story.
'When I turned 18 I really knew I was gay , I didn't fancy a girl I only had eyes for guys what is funny cus' it rhymes' Harry giggled.
'Some of my so called friends start to notice to and on a party they asked me if I was gay I simply answered with an "I think so" and they start calling me out they said that they didn't want to be friends with an queer like me. I felt hopeless , that night I took a big step and instead of scissors I took an razor and sliced my wrists open' I slip a sob.

'I start dating this girl Eleanor Calder , she was really nice she didn't know I was actually only using her to cover my sexuality , my friends took me bag but I tossed them in the trash I didn't give a fuck Stan is the only friend who stayed I made new friends like Zayn' I smile slightly.

'When I was 20 my mom dragged me to a doctor , where got confirmed I had an eating disorder what is still so not true I didn't get a treatment because my mom couldn't push me I was old enough to make my own decisions so I didn't do it' I said laughing bitterly. 'On my 21st birthday everyone forgot that it was my birthday they simply ignored me even Zayn, that night I've cutted deep I show you one time where that one is , I almost killed myself that night by cutting to deep. My mom found out and I went to therapy they confirmed I was depressed' I break down in sobs and I feel Harry's arm around 'You can quit if you want' He whispered. 'No you deserve to know' I answered, I take a deep breath and continue.

'I got antidepressants pills they worked and I found happiness again but like I said I mess up everything , I met Niall Horan an outgoing lad really nice but I guess that was his cover up he brought me in this drugs world I used some I didn't pay so as payment I should complete 4 jobs for him and you were one of them' I explained 'Oh and I also have panic attacks but I even had that as a young kid so i'm used to it' I added.

It stayed quiet for a few minutes 'Wow Louis , You are even stronger than I thought I feel honoured that you were willing to share this with me it makes me feel I mean a lot to you-' I cut him off by pushing him closer hoping I kiss his lip even though I can't see anything in the pitch black.
Our lips move together , Harry's lips taste like chocolate. What is possible since he ate an chocolate croissant as dinner.

He gentle pushes me off 'To me you are perfect Louis' he said my heart warms. I turn the light on , hesitating I turn around to look at him. He's crying I walk fast to him 'Ssshh stop Harry I don't want you to cry about me about my stupid life , I have you the person I trust and love the most' I said pecking his lips.

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This was painful to write but I done it and i'm proud.
Spread love , not hate :))
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