Chapter 25: Change

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Chanyeol keeps talking about him.

"He's such an idiot." He hears Chanyeol say. "Why would you..." Him. Always him in Chanyeol's eyes.

Kyungsoo feels jealousy rise up within him, making him feel like he can crush whatever in his hands. He's about to burst.

Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun. It's driving him crazy!

This is supposed to be their time together, not Chanyeol's time to talk about his roommate that he sees almost 24 hours a day!

"You know he hates pain, right?" I don't know. I don't want to know.

"... Sometimes I wish they could've mistaken his bed for mine." Why? Would you do that for me too?

"I wish I could've taken his place instead ..." I wish I could've taken his place instead I wish I could've taken his place instead I wish I could've taken his place instead -

NO -

Crash. He feels wetness on his arm and a sting on his hand, but he doesn't care. All he's thinking about is Chanyeol and Baekhyun and Chanyeol and Baekhyun and -

"Stop."

"Huh?"

"Stop."

"... Kyungsoo, you're bleeding!" He sees Chanyeol move away from his vision, then back in, and he feels gentle hands on his arm, carefully cleaning him up. He hears Chanyeol ask him questions and scold him, but he doesn't really pay attention. All he's thinking about is What happened?

He had never been so angry as to have an outburst before, not even when his alcoholic father had started beating his prostitute of a mother. So why? Why did that happen?

But as he feels Chanyeol touch him and fret over him like what a real mother should've done to him, he realises the answer's been there all along.

He loves Chanyeol.

He thought it was some puppy love, or at the very least, the first stages of love, but this situation right here, and what he has just done to himself earlier had proved him right at this moment that his feelings are more than that.

Much, much more than that.

He loves Chanyeol, so goddamn much that picturing him with someone else hurts him. He loves Chanyeol, so goddamn much that being with him excites him so much it hurts. He loves Chanyeol, so goddamn much that it hurts.

Love hurts.

But love is also exciting, thrilling, and love gives him giddy emotions he had never felt so intensely before.

And he loves Chanyeol, because it's Chanyeol.

As he watches Chanyeol absentmindedly, watch him wipe his arm and try to pick the glass off his skin, he knows that this is why he loves him.

He looks at Chanyeol's concentrated yet handsome expression, tongue sticking out slightly as he uses careful fingers to pick at the glass on his skin, and he knows this is why he loves him.

Chanyeol is caring, cute, serious yet cheeky, and has the sort of innocence in him that Kyungsoo had always wanted in himself.

"Let's go to the nurse." Chanyeol suggests, snapping him out of his trance. "I really don't trust my own skills."

"No." Kyungsoo says. He doesn't want to go to the nurse. He wants to spend more time with Chanyeol.

Because he loves Chanyeol.

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