COTE : Three days of happyness

Inappropriate Acts

I woke up a few hours before the first train and bought an energy drink from a vending machine.

My body ached all over. It was still dim around, and I heard morning cicadas, crows, and turtle doves.
Back inside, I saw Horikita sitting and stretching. That action seemed to show more of a human side to her than anything else I’d seen her do so far.

I looked at her, still holding the bottle. Perhaps because of what a sweltering night it was, she’d taken her summer cardigan off and put it on her lap, revealing her delicate shoulders.

…Maybe I was just confused.

Maybe it was having three months to live, maybe it was meeting one disappointment after another, maybe I was still half-asleep and fatigued and in pain.

Or maybe I really did like how this Horikita girl looked, moreso than I’d expected.
Well, it didn’t matter. At any rate, I had a sudden impulse to do something terrible to Horikita. More bluntly, I wanted to push Horikita down. I wanted to use her as an outlet for all my emotions.

What I was thinking of doing were inappropriate acts, ones that would surely get my lifespan terminated if I did them - but so what? I’d just die a few months sooner.

So I’d gladly die doing what I wanted to do. I had written not to go against my desires on my “Things to Do Before I Die” list.
I had previously considered her outside the range of those desires, but once I started looking at her that way, there seemed to be no one more suitable than Horikita for that kind of desperate act.

I don’t know why, but she seemed to stimulate my sadistic nature. Maybe since she was always acting stoic, I wanted to disturb the act and make her show her weakness. To tell her “You act so tough, but you’re really this weak.”

As I stood in front of her, Horikita took a slightly defensive posture as if sensing my thoughts.

“I’ve got a question for you.”

“…Yes?”

“Once an observer sees their target doing an "inappropriate act” or whatever, how much of a lag is there before their lifespan’s terminated?“

Horikita’s eyes showed caution. "And why would you be asking?”

“Basically, I want to know how long it’d take before I got killed if I were to get violent with you right here.”

However, she didn’t look so surprised.

She looked at me with colder eyes than ever before, scorning me.

“I can make contact immediately. After that, it wouldn’t take twenty minutes. And escape would be completely impossible.”

“So, I’d have about ten-some minutes to act freely?”, I promptly asked back.

Horikita looked away and weakly said “Nobody said anything like that.”

Silence prevailed.

Oddly, Horikita didn’t try to run away. She just stared down at her lap.

I reached my hand for her.

I’d planned to insult her and hurt her, but as soon as I touched her bare shoulder, her sorrowful face made my body stiffen.

Was I really going to push Horikita down on the floor and use her to realize my desires?
If I did, she would surely be hurt. Maybe I would be adding another wound like the big one on her knee. Maybe I would take even more light from her nearly pitch-black eyes.

Maybe once it was all over, she’d just make a sarcastic remark as if totally unfazed. “…Were you satisfied?”
And would I really be satisfied?