COTE : Three days of happyness

A Very Real Way

Though I’d made up my mind to repay Horikita’s debt, my blind idiocy wasn’t something easily cured. But at least when it comes to what’s to follow, maybe my misjudgment isn’t too much to blame.

After all, it seemed impossible from the start. Her debt was a sum far greater than the salaryman’s expenditures which Kushida once spoke of. There was no surefire way for a boring college student to make that much in two months.
But for the time being, I searched for one. Doing admirable work was something that seemed unrealistic in this case. No matter how hard I worked, having only two months to do so, it would be squeezing water from a stone.

I could arguably make back the 300,000 yen Horikita gave me, but I didn’t think she’d want me to labor away my last months like that. Similarly, she wouldn’t want me to resort to anything criminal like larceny, robbery, fraud, or kidnapping.

And because I was trying to earn the money for her, of course I wouldn’t want to do it in any way she didn’t approve of.
I considered gambling, but even I wasn’t stupid enough to go through with that one. I knew very well that I wouldn’t be winning any bets with my back to the wall like this. Gambling is something always won by those with money to spare.

If you reach out to the goddess of fortune, she runs away. You have to tough it out and wait for her to approach, then catch her at just the right moment. But I didn’t have time left for that, and I didn’t have any sense for what the right moment was.
It was like trying to catch a cloud. If there were some amazing way to make a lifetime of money in two months, everyone would be doing it. Basically all I was doing was trying to check one more time something that everyone else would plainly state was impossible.

My only “weapon,” so to speak, was the fact that with such little life left I could take any risk, but I wouldn’t be the first person who’s thrown their life away for money. And I could tell how that didn’t pan out for them.
But I still kept thinking. Reckless, I know. But even if no one else had succeeded before, I just had to be the first.

I kept telling myself: Think, think, think. How can I pay the debt in the remaining two months? How can I ensure Horikita will sleep peacefully? How can I ensure Horikita won’t be alone after I’m gone?
I pondered while walking around town. I sort of picked up in my twenty years of experience that it’s best to walk around when you’re thinking about something with no clear answer.

I kept walking the next day, and the day after that. I hoped for an answer to come rolling at my feet.
I didn’t eat much of anything during that time.

Again speaking from experience, I knew that at a certain level of hunger, my head cleared up; so I was counting on that.
It didn’t take long for me to arrive at the thought of going to the shop again.

My last hope was the shop in that musty old building, that had once thrown me into the pits of despair, and still allowed me two more transactions.
One day I asked Horikita. “Thanks to you, Horikita, I’m a lot happier than I used to be. If I were to hypothetically sell my lifespan at that shop now, how much would it go for?”

“…As you predict, the values are fluid to some extent,” Horikita confirmed. “But unfortunately, a subjective sense of happiness will have little effect on the value of a lifespan. Their focus is on objectively measurable happinesses with a basis. …Though I question that approach.”

“So then, what would add the most value?”

“Social contributions, popularity… I believe they favor things which are easily recognizable through objective means.”

“Easily recognizable, huh.”

“Um, Mr. Ayanokouji?”

“What’s up?”