COTE : Three days of happyness

Time Capsule Raiding

[ Note : Why does part 4 and 5 have 17 and 18 Views But part 6 have 25 views? Did some people skipped or missed those part? Or is it a wattpad glitch? ]

When I decided to write my will, I soon noticed that I couldn’t start writing anything at all without an assumption of who was going to be reading it.

Holding a pen over stationery I bought from a nearby shop, I thought about what to write for a long time.

Cicadas were stopped on the power poles outside, and they were noisy enough that it felt like they were inside.

While the cicadas were there, I could blame them for not being able to move my pen - but even after they flew off, I still hadn’t written a single word.

Who was I hoping would read this will in the first place? A will is fundamentally a means of communication. I had to write to tell someone something about me that they couldn’t see otherwise.

I asked myself, what did I have to tell anyone? Of course, I immediately thought of my childhood friend, Kushida. So should this will contain my thanks toward Kushida, or a confession of my love?

As a test, I took about an hour carefully writing a letter to her. To summarize what it looked like when I was done:

I don’t know what you think of me by now, but I’ve kept loving you since that day ten years ago.

I survived until twenty because of my memories from when I was with you, and I won’t survive beyond twenty because I can’t stand a world without you.

Now that I’m about to die, I’ve finally realized that. In a way, I’ve already been dead for a long time. Ever since the day we went our separate ways.

Goodbye. I’m praying ten-year-old me survives inside you for a little longer.

Reading it again, I thought that I probably wouldn’t mail this letter. There was a serious problem somewhere in there.

This wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to be saying with it. And it was impossible for me write down exactly what I wanted to say. I’d sooner die.
I think my desire came down to that last line I wrote. For Kushida to still remember me as I was at ten for a little while.

And if that was the objective of the letter, then it seemed I should maybe not write anything at all.
Any form would do; if it was just addressed to Kushida, and I was the sender, that would be enough. And that would result in the least misunderstanding.

If a blank sheet of paper seemed odd, I could write a single sentence: “I just wanted to send a letter.”

Or maybe - another option was to not talk about my death at all, but write about normal, everyday things.

I threw the pen onto the table and crumpled up the letter so Horikita couldn’t read it, then turned up to the ceiling.
…At any rate, when was the last time I wrote a letter? I searched my memory.

Communicating with letters wasn’t a common thing, and since elementary school, I had no one to send New Year’s cards or anything like that. There must have only been a few letters throughout my whole life.

Aside from that when I was 17, the last letter I wrote was… in the summer of fourth grade.
That summer, when I was ten, our class buried a time capsule behind the gym. It was a suggestion from that same teacher who gave us the morality lesson that first led me to think about the value of life.

The students all wrote letters to put inside the round capsule.

“I want you to write those letters to yourself ten years from now,” she said. “Maybe you won’t be sure what to write, since I just said that out of the blue… I know, you can write things like "Did your dream come true?”, or “Are you happy?”, or “Do you remember this?”, or “What would you like to tell me?” There’s a lot you could ask. You can also write about your own hopes, like “Please make my dream come true,” or “Please be happy,” or “Please don’t forget about this.”“
She couldn’t have predicted that in a decade, some of those children had given up on their dreams, weren’t happy, and had forgotten a lot.