love song ౨ৎ

4 - blue dust

i've been dodging Mr. Boyle's classes ever since he was at my place, kissing my cousin, who'd tried to make amends with the humble offering of McDonald's.

"i promise i'll keep my distance from him. it was such a stupid thing. just don't tell your mom, please, Jenny... i'm sorry," she apologized, looking genuinely distressed. it was the first time she mentioned my mom, too.

"no worries, Lux," i offered my forgiveness, but there were unspoken truths lurking. "everyone makes mistakes."

truth is, Mr. Boyle had been drowning his sorrows at Lux's workplace, the bar. "he'd had a heated argument with his wife. he looked so sad." Lux tells me. she confided to him her own troubles with her "boyfriend" that night. so, she spontaneously invited him over after her shift. he was wasted by then.

i can't shake him from my thoughts – his mesmerizing blue eyes, the ebony cascade of his hair, the cadence of his voice, the weight of his hand on my shoulder, and the way he loomed over me. my thoughts spiral into treacherous territory.

"so?" Amira's voice snaps me back to reality. i'm at her place, getting ready for the party tonight. she stood in the middle of the room, adorned in a bandeau cut-out dress from Pretty Little Thing, exuding allure.

"Amira, that's the one!" i exclaimed. " you look stunning. Sebastian won't be able to take his eyes off you."

"do you really think so?"

"i know so," I reassured her.

"i feel like a prostitute." i burst out laughing at her statement

"a hot prostitute," i add.

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚.

after i did her hair, we took the bus to Sebastian's house. i chose to wear a black bandeau top, black flare leggings, and New Balance sneakers, prioritizing comfort.

Sebastian greets us at the door and his eyes practically lit up at the sight of Amira.

"wow," he nearly gushes. Amira giggles. "come on in."

Sebastian is definitely rich. the house sprawls with elegance. but it's a high school party after all, loud music, booze everywhere, people smoking, doing shots, couples making out, a girl is even dancing on the kitchen balcony, barely wearing clothes. following Sebastian, we find ourselves in the backyard, complete with a trampoline and a pool. the lawn nearly sparkles due to the reflection of the dreamy lights. there, is a group of people sitting in a circle with a bottle in the middle.

"wanna play a game?"

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚.

the bottle lands on me.

"I dare you to..." Samantha, starts pondering, her siren eyes looking at the pool beside her and then back to me. "jump in the pool." basically, the chosen player has to accept a dare from the spinner, or down a shot.

"oOoh" Amira chips in, breaking a kiss between her and Sebastian. i dared her to sit on his lap for this round and it's obviously working. you're welcome!

"okay" i already had like 11 shots so i feel obligated to accept the dare, even though it's 8°C. i start taking my shoes off and undressing myself. i'm in my bra and panties and the stares should be making me feel uncomfortable, but for some reason, i feel like the baddest bitch in here.

i start running towards the pool and i jump. as my head gets underwater so does the music and everything else.

i feel at peace.

around me, everything looks like blue dust and glitter. i look up and i can see someone leaning over. i swim towards them.

"you really are drunk." - the guy says with a grin on his face. he's beautiful. and really fucking tall, wow.

"help me up. i'm f-freezing"

he gives out his hand and i take it, pushing him towards me with all my strength. we both fall underwater and i open my eyes to see his expression. he swims to the surface and i follow.

"gotcha!"

"you're crazy!" he exclaims, nearly. laughing along with me and everyone else but Samantha. if looks could killl, i'd be 6 foot under the earth.

i climb out of the pool and i notice Amira and Sebastian aren't there. i get inside the house with the intention to look for them but a strong hand grabs my arm. i look back, startled.

"so, you tried to kill me and now you're leaving? nah"

a smile spread across my face. i look up at him. "that's dramatic. what do you want?"

"you"

"what?"

"i want to talk to you. your name's Jennifer, right? i'm Trent" he jokingly puts his hand out.

i go to shake his hand, but as i touch him, he pulls me towards him, hugging my waist and burying his face in my neck.

"what do you think you're doing?" i ask him, laughing anxiously.

Trent lets me go and then grabs my hand. he leads me to the bathroom. i've never felt like. all i can see and think about is now, the present, how i'm letting myself be led to the bathroom by a guy i just met at party. my head is dizzy, my whole body shivers.

he kneels down to open the cabinet under the sink and gives me a clean towel, as if this isn't his first time in this house.

"thanks"

"you're welcome" he starts taking off his drenched clothes. he's in boxers. i try not to look at it. my heart is beating so fast it feels like it will explode.

"sorry about that"

"what?" he asks furrowing his eyebrows

"your clothes are all wet"

"don't worry about it, jenny" he reassures leaning closer. "can i call you that?"

my heartbeat is giving me a headache and i can't hear anything. so, i spontaneously give him a quick peck on the lips and he melts into another kiss. this one much slower and more passionate, his big hands gripping my waist and hips. he helps me up the sink as if i'm light as a feather, our bodies so close, our lips have no choice but to collide. i wrap my arms and legs around him. his lips fit so perfectly with mine. he starts kissing my neck

"ever since... i saw you...at school" he says between sloppy kisses and heavy breathing "with your skirt... your thighs, your lips, your eyes... i knew... i knew nobody could compare"

as he states that, it's as if i sober up in the span of a second, observing his eyes i feel a warmth inside of me, then, it's as if all the alcohol i drank hits me all that once.

i get off the sink, push him out of my way, open the toilet seat and vomit.

"Jesus Christ" i can hear him say as he takes my hair in his hand "are you okay?"

i wipe my mouth with my forearm and feel myself collapse on him.