Red, White, and Royal Blue - Anything for You

Chapter 2

Henry lies awake in his bed late at night. His body feels excruciatingly numb and gross at the same time.

"Hey baby." Alex tries to soothe him when he sees him lying down, facing away. He wraps his arm around him and snuggles his nose into the crook of his neck.

It's the night right after the party and Henry was still trying to manage the event that happened just a few hours earlier. Feeling Alex's warmth does help a bit but he still feels sick as hell. 

"What's up? You seemed off when we left the party."

"Nothing."

Alex places a kiss on his cheek. "I know it's not nothing. Do you want to talk about it?"

Henry wipes off the remaining tears. "Can you just hold me? I don't really feel like talking. I think I'm just coming down with something."

"Sure, Baby. I'm here for you."

For weeks Henry's depression spirals and he still keeps silent. Alex notices and tries to comfort him, but even the tactics that used to work don't work now. Henry tries his best to fake being ok, but his partner can see through it and he can tell.

Henry is getting urges to self harm again. Late at night when Alex is asleep or during the day when he's gone, adrenaline courses through his veins and he thinks about how the blades of his razor might help. He imagines the sharpness distracting him from the nausea and guilt. He knows logically he didn't actually cheat, he was taken advantage of, but something in his brain is arguing otherwise. 

You should've fought harder. You should've had Shaan take care of him. He'd be in jail right now if you left that bathroom and got help.

There was another concern on his mind though, and that was even harder to approach. If he didn't do it and got help, he would've done something to Alex. He can deal with himself, but he doesn't even want to imagine if something were to happen to his boyfriend. That's a different risk he would not be willing to take.

He can't even tell Alex, because he knows he'll go to the police. If news got out, Paolo would send someone even if he was behind bars.

When he gets home from work one evening, Alex is sitting in a chair in the living room waiting for him.

"Hey baby. Everything ok?" Henry says.

"Henry, we need to talk."

"Not again. I told you I was sick, but I'm better now."

"You've been losing weight, you're skipping meals, you're not sleeping. Bea and Pez are worried about it too." 

"It's nothing I can't handle. Work with the shelters has just been getting stressful."

Alex stands up and approaches him. "I know when you're lying."

He gets a better view of Alex's face when he stands in front of him. His eyes are bloodshot red so he must have been crying earlier. Henry almost tells him the truth right there, but he doesn't. Instead he says what usually would make him upset.

"My depression has been taking a high recently. It happens randomly, I can't explain it. I just can't help but think everything I do is going to blow in my face." It's not a complete lie. That definitely does happen.

Alex says, "This is going to sound selfish, but I just need to know... Did I do anything that contributed to it?"

"God no you didn't do anything wrong." Henry takes cups Alex's cheeks and gives him a tender kiss. He reminds himself that this is why he did it. To keep him safe. He's safe. 

Alex says, "Promise me you'll get the help you need if it gets too bad."

The blonde at first seems reluctant, but he knows that it will help his partner feel better. Plus he will probably need it anyways. "I'll get back in touch with my therapist tomorrow."

Henry leans in and kisses him again. It starts off slow and soft but evolves into passionate and heavy. They're both trying to convey the intensity of their emotions through their kisses. The more they ache for each other, the deeper the kisses get. Henry pulls him closer, needing to feel all of his body to make sure he's there. He needs to know Alex is there with him, in their apartment together and won't get hurt. He does this with grasping his hair in his hand, his tongue taking control in their mouths, his chest leaning towards him like it will die if it doesn't.

"Henry," Alex breathes out as he tugs the dark curls.

They stumble towards the bedroom and strip off their clothes. Seeing Alex naked in front of him just makes him yearn for his boyfriend more.

"I want you inside me," Henry tells him quietly.

Alex grabs the lube on the night stand and spreads it on his fingers. He takes some more and puts it on Henry. 

"I'm ready." The blonde says.

Alex sticks the first finger which makes Henry do a slight groan. After a bit, he enters the second. He feels him getting looser and Henry tells him he's ready for the third, so Alex obeys. 

After a few thrusts, Alex knows he's ready for his dick. He slowly inserts himself and Henry gasps in pleasure. 

Alex is moving slowly, relishing in the feeling of his warmth. He pushes deep where it hits the spot he knows Henry loves. Henry moves himself at the same rythm, meeting him at the end of each thrust causing more friction between his own walls and Alex's dick. The blonde kisses him harshly and earnestly, loving the way he gets filled up.

Usually they like to fuck but here they are making love like they were in Paris and the time Alex confronted him after Henry ghosted him. They both have this dying need to show affection but especially Henry. He has been anxious about Paolo hurting him for weeks since last month at the party.

Henry pulls his boyfriend even closer so that there's no space in the world between them. He tries to pin all Alex's physical weight onto him so he knows for sure he is with him and safe in his arms. Tell me you're here, he thinks to himself, tell me you're here with your body. The delicious sensation inside him tells him everything he needs to know but he wants more of it.

It's when Alex moans into his ear and picks up the pace when Henry knows he did the right thing. Those sweet, sweet noises are worth everything. He is here, Henry thinks to himself, everything is ok.