Pob: lord fuckurd 👺
He had decided to visit this 'Queen Genevieve', so he took a very awaited shower and put on a coquette fit to instantly make the queen's panties drop, he had even cut his thick toe nails heart shaped for the occasion.
He ubered, which seemed like a good idea until he found that the uber guy was a straight up pshyco! The uber pulled up in his bright lime green 3-seat-bike with self installed windows and lord fart felt like the bougiest bitch in the block, that is until the psycho started saying how the heart shaped toenails were hot and he wanted to eat them. I was low-key into it but then he deadass run over my grandma and I don't date people who knew my grandma, I HATE that whore so the fact he killed her when I already have been meditating her death for the past 6 months is just insulting (she was supposed to die next week in case you were curious 😘). I would never date someone like that, even though my dream is to be king, I also wish for an incel to burst through my door one day and tell me I'm not like other girls. He wouldn't do that, he would pass over his car keys so I could crush her and then keep the car!!!!1!!!1 Then that ashole asked me to pay him like hello???? in this economy?
Anyways, when I got to the castle I walked up the stairs, two by at a time, to make sure that if the queen was watching she'd be impressed. When I got there though she was being all lame and crying because her daughter was missing or whatever like get over it 🙄. I instantly pulled a fast one and gave her an unsolicited hug to show how much I cared about her secretly. Her orbs widened with surprise as she slowly hugged back. Still without a word I tighten the hug making sure to leave her breathless, soon she passed out and fell down the stairs. I was like "girl you ok?" She didn't respond, which is very rude btw, so I kinda assumed she was dead but just because I'm trying to impress her I needed to at least try to prevent this death, being a hottie wasn't quite enough this time 😿
I ordered a doctor on google and he arrived in 20 minutes instead of the 15 I was promised so I got a discount for my time, after he looked at her he said that she was dead lol.
I started playing the british anthem coz I felt it matched the vibe, instantly she came back to life.
I was like "hey girl hey!!" but she was acting all weird like asking where she's was and saying her name is Elizabeth and last thing she remembered was sans winning the Tumblr sexyman tournament???? I was confused af, but this is about getting that crown and them big bucks, not about knowing what the fuick is going on, so I played along.
"Omg yeah Lizzy go gurl!!!" I said as we twerked together in the honor of the truest sexyman of all history, it was so fun that the queen started laughing and letting out a snort so sexy that it would leave Peppa pig out of business. I was just there doing my pretend simp for her and kicking my feet when our laughter was RUDELY interrupted by some weirdo tipping over his incel hat and calling for MY queen.
I turned around to meet his mucus green orbs with my blue mentos mint eyes and it was as if for a moment we were a tide pod.
He didn't have much of a dapper presence, he had a baby blue purple tux with some more classy red detailing, and I could've like totally alphaed my way outta this but his tall, gorgeous, naturally white hairs made me want to go back to the kitchen. I quickly dismissed these feelings as I felt my alpha status be slightly threatened so I and started T posing to establish myself.
His gentle pasty white face was suddenly laced with red hot anger.
🫶💕-end of chapter three-💕🫶
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A/N
HEY GUYS
Sorry I've been MIA for a while but I was too busy getting laid, sorry not sorry virgins 💋
And for all the haters that say I didn't actually get laid check ur dumbass privilege bcos I'm just a girl living in her mansion with my dad mischivious rabbit and my mom Talor Swiftly and my hubby Herry Style like I couldn't care less about your poor peasant opinion byeee 🤑🤙
xoxo, gospi gurl
YOU ARE READING
Tacones Rojos 😘👠 (IN ENGLISH) (lord farquaad x preminger)
FanfictionTwo powerful men are looking for the same thing; to become king. What they don't know is they'll become the king of each other's hearts. ☆☆☆☆☆ IT WAS LIFE CHANGING I read this and I've suffered the consequences. My wife left me, my kids won't speak...
