With a devious and gleeful and downright dastardly grin on his face, James Marriott rummages around his apartment for a certain special CD and boom box he is looking for. Weighing 50 tonnes, it is quite a heavy lift, but he successfully drops the boom box on his desk so his viewers can hear it best.
He slides the CD into a slot and announces to his 35 million consecutive viewers: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Slow Down!!!".
He presses play and the entire room begins to shake with the sheer volume coming from his boom box. While this happens, James dances gracefully, doing a pirouette, then violently twerking for his viewers as... sheer noise is unceremoniously dumped into the microphone input.
Chat reads in a frantic flurry:
STOP IT
AHHH
actually wat the hell is this
OMG 💀💀💀💀
HIDDEN TALENT, KEEP IT HIDDEN 🔥🔥
Turn it off man
Average james mariot song 😫
CLICK HERE 4 FREE BOBUX! 💵💵
AND THE CROWD GOES HOME 🔥🔥🔥
💀💀💀💀💀
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
GET HELP JAMES
Is janeen available ?
😎👍 not bad bro
🗿🗿🗿🗿☠️☠️☠️☠️ NAAHHH what is this
ACTUALLY DYING RN GUYS WTH
TURN IT OFF PLS IM DYINT
IT BURRRRNNNSS 💀💀💀💀
NAAHHH IM GONNA DIE WITH 23 SUBS
CURSE YOU JAMES
☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
"What is wrong guys?" James pauses his polite pirouettes and reads chat. "Mozart got nothing on me!". The chat is so rude about his magnum opus song! Perhaps it is time to end the stream.
"Sounds like a you problem. You all have such Bitter Tongues today! So Long then!" James proclaims in disbelief as he ends the stream.
Immediately, Gauge Memeulous calls him again.
"Oh, what is it, you silly whippersnapper?! Have you gotten surgery yet, rat? I just had a terrible stream..."
"Man man man MAN! Look on the news!!"
As instructed, James Marriott loads up the only trustworthy news source commonly known as the Daily Mail and reads the breaking news headline:
'35 million deaths suddenly recorded, experts say Online Internet Person is responsible'
"Did you play them that song you were working on James?" Geerge inquires with fear.
"Oh shut it!!" Marriott shouts and turns on the boom box again to properly shut him up.
George Memeulous suffers a cardiac arrest and dies in front of his eyes. Slow Down can't be that bad..?
James (although happy that George has finally perished) must now reevaluate his priorities.
"It appears I must go on the run!" James says (to no-one) with a spring in his step.
YOU ARE READING
James Marriott Becomes Responsible for Thirty-Five Million Deaths
Short StoryJames Marriott copes and weeps as the world responds rather negatively to his life's work. What happens? ? ? ? Will he ever find love again? 😱
