Past memories | Shin soukoku | Atsushi angst

Chapter 3

Hi guys! Tell me if u mind the random Japanese (the word "jinko"). I prefer to use it because it sounds better. It's like "Hello jinko😍" and "hello weretiger👹"

TW: ed(eating disorder), throwing up

Atsushi POV

I woke up feeling my mouth really dry. As I opened my eyes fully I saw Akutagawa hugging me tightly as I was buried in his chest. I was shocked at first but once my gaze landed on Akutagawa's peaceful sleeping face, I decided that staying like this for a few more minutes wouldn't hurt.

Akutagawa POV

I woke up seeing jinko in the same position as last night. I didn't want to ruin it he seemed so... peaceful while he was asleep. I slightly readjusted grabbing my phone to check the time. 7:30 am. 'SHIT I WILL BE LATE FOR WORK' I thought as I got out of bed abruptly not minding the sleeping boy next to me anymore.

I rushed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and washed my face. I would shower once I was back since there was no time now. I quickly put on my usual attire and brushed my hair. I made sure to leave a note that I was off for work on the kitchen counter so the weretiger would see it.

Atsushi POV

I woke up feeling extremely relaxed. Maybe I should sleep in a bed more often. I realized I was now alone in this massive bed. I figured Akutagawa was already at work looking at the time and the note on the kitchen counter proved me right.

It's been about an hour since I woke up. I watched some TV realizing that Akutagawa's apartment was obnoxiously quiet. I'm used to being with people all the time so I felt really lonely in this huge and unfamiliar place.

I was eventually bored of the TV and decided to explore since Akutagawa never really gave me a proper tour of his flat. The kitchen was one with the living room and the room covered most space in the apartment. Then there was a hall connecting the living room with all the other rooms in the house. On the one side of the hall there were two doors which were the bedrooms and on the other there was a small bathroom.

My boredom was over the moon. Now that I finished touring myself around the house I had nothing to do. My eyes suddenly landed on a piece of paper laying on the kitchen table. It was a shopping list! This is the first time I was excited to run errands! I quickly put on some clothes, grabbed the list and made my way out of the apartment making sure I had my keys on me so I wouldn't get locked out.

After a few minutes of walking I finally arrived, thankful that the store was really close to the apartment. I gave a quick look at the list and started wandering around the shop trying to find everything. Apparently all he needed was water and food. As I was walking down the food corridor, putting stuff in the cart I felt kind of bad, I knew deep down Akutagawa got extra food because of me and I wouldn't be able to eat the food or at least keep it in. I quickly made my way to the cashier and paid with Akutagawa's money that he had left along with the list.

As I was walking out I noticed a familiar face. It was Kyouka! We stopped and talk for a while, I missed having her around. She told me how she was temporarily living with Kunikida until I was back and that he asked her to do the shopping so he didn't disturb his schedule. After chatting for a while Kyouka went inside the shop while I went back to the flat.

Time skip to when Akutagawa was back (about 8:30)

Akutagawa's POV

I walked into my apartment feeling exhausted. I took my shoes and coat off and placed them down carefully. I waked further inside the house and saw the weretiger curled up like a ball sleeping on the couch. I walked closer and slightly covered him with a blanket since he looked uncomfortable. I watched as his face cooled down the moment I covered him.

I walked as quietly as I could and made my way into the kitchen. I opened the fridge to get something to eat and noticed that everything had been untouched. 'Did jinko not eat anything all day' I thought. 'Why am I even concerned about him?'. Despite my thoughts, I checked the cupboards only to reveal that the food inside indeed hasn't moved an inch. 'Is that idiot starving himself or something?'

Atsushi POV

I woke up to a warm feeling. I opened my eyes to see that I was now covered with a thick blanket. 'Akutagawa is probably home' I simply thought as I stood up feeling really weak. I walked over to the kitchen where Akutagawa had already prepared a whole meal.

"Hey Akutagawa why didn't you tell me you here?"

"Because you were asleep." He said in a straight voice

I blushed at my stupid question and silence filled the room.

He looked at me with a somewhat concerned face as he put the plate down in front of me? I was clearly confused by his look but decided to ignore it.

He watched me as I forcefully shoved some food in my mouth and after I took a few spoons he started eating as well. 'Has he noticed? But how? I tried my best to hide it!'. As I escaped my deep thoughts I found myself staring at the almost full plate slightly shaking. I couldn't take another bite, I just couldn't.

I could feel Akutagawa's eyes on me and I could see his mouth moving saying something like 'Are you alright' but I couldn't make out the rest. I ran straight to the bathroom not wanting to force anything else down my throat. As I was running I could practically hear the headmaster saying 'You don't deserve so much food you fat excuse of a human'. I slammed and locked the door behind me and I quickly leaned against the toilet repeating the same actions as last time. I placed my fingers deep in my mouth and then I started throwing everything up.

Akutagawa POV

While me and jinko were eating I suddenly saw him shaking. I was afraid he would have a panic attack just like last night so I asked him

"Are you alright jinko?"

He completely ignored me and continued staring at the plate. I figured it wasn't about a panic attack although I didn't stop yelling.

"Jinko can you hear me?"

He once again ignored me but this time instead of staring he stood up and starting running to the bathroom. 'What's wrong with him?' I thought as I followed him to the restroom. I could hear him throwing up intensely. 'Did he do this intentionally?...'

I've had enough! I opened the door with the help of rashoumon and was left speechless when I saw the weretiger. His fingers were in his mouth. He was indeed doing this intentionally... It's not like I didn't see it coming but the sight was horrible so I just froze on the spot.

The silence broke by slight sobs coming from the weretiger. I sat besides him not exactly knowing what to do so I just acted and hugged him tightly. I didn't care about the puke he accidentally got on me. I just stayed in that position waiting for him to calm down. After a few minutes I could no longer feel the wet drops of tears on my shoulder. He was fully asleep. I managed to stand up with him still in a tight hug. I washed his mouth and hands, trying to not wake him up. He was quite the deep sleeper since nothing could wake him up at this state not even the unintentional sounds I was making while trying to wash him up.

When I was done I dried his palms and walked to my bedroom with jinko clinging on to me. I could feel my face flush with a light red but I ignored it and placed the weretiger on the bed. I sat besides him and once I was under the sheets I hugged him and fell asleep in no time.