Past memories | Shin soukoku | Atsushi angst

Chapter 11

Constant drops of rain were the only things keeping him awake. He wanted to close his eyes, fall asleep, perhaps eternal sleep if he was lucky. But of course, luck was never on his side. He woke up in the same place, the same bed he slept in, in perfectly good condition if we exclude his tangled hair.

He slowly sat up, his vision going slightly blurry with dark spots appearing. He hasn't eaten in a while, he'd blame it on that. He got up carefully trying not to pass out. His legs almost gave out but he caught himself just in time.

He walked all the way to the big, empty kitchen and saw a single note on the table.

"If you're reading this, I'm probably not back from work yet. I trust you will make it to the agency safe and sound. Don't do anything foolish weretiger.

-Akutagawa"

Atsushi couldn't help but smile at the other's care for him. Although, the smile soon turned bitter. He had decided to kill himself on November 9th, he wasn't about to break another promise, especially one he made with himself. Now that he was living in Akutagawa's apartment, it would have to be postponed. Or perhaps not... He'd figure something out. Whatever he decided upon, he wasn't going to risk it, he would discreetly say his goodbyes to everyone he cared about and showed them he genuinely loved them.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"I'm just messing with you" Dazai said with a sly expression.

"YOU-" Kunikida snapped his pen in two pieces and proceeded to strangle his partner.

Atsushi, who had just entered, sighed and walked up to them. "Please stop..." he said nervously.

Despite his rage, Kunikida did as told and let Dazai off the hook, for now. The said man, once released, immediately hopped on the couch and continued doing whatever he was doing prior.

Kunikida glanced angrily at his broken pen and threw it in the trash next to his desk. Just then, Atsushi had an idea. He reached for his bag and took out an unused pen he had bought. "Here, you can have mine." He reassured the blond man and handed the pen to him. "Thank you kid, Kunikida smiled and accepted the pen, what's got you into such a good mood?" He voiced out. "I don't really know" he lied and flashed a huge smile. The other man seemed pleased his coworker was doing better.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dazai whined once again. "I can't believe it! Kunikida is unbelievably cruel! He ruined my headphones!"

Atsushi couldn't help but listen to the brunette complaining (he was a few feet away from him after all). He took out his earphones from his bag and approached Dazai. He was going to die anyway so why not give some of his belongings to the people he appreciated? It'd be such a shame if his items became useless after his death.

"Here, Dazai-san. You can have mine. You don't need to return them, after all I don't really use them." He smiled.

Something flashed in Dazai's face for a second before he completely covered it with a huge smile. "Kunikida, quick, take notes. This is how you should treat me!" He said loud enough for the blond to hear. He simply got ignored.

Atsushi noted that Ranpo was giving him a sideways glance which wasn't a good sign. He'd have to be more discreet.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Are you sure you can go to Yosano's dorm on your own? It's raining pretty heavily..." asked Atsushi with a concerned expression. He wouldn't want her to get sick, especially when he could prevent it from happening.

"It's not so far from here. I believe I'll be alright." Kyouka answered and stepped out in the rain, her kimono slowly going more damp every step she made.

"Wait!" Atsushi fidgeted a bit with his bag and finally took out a small umbrella. It wasn't extremely big but it could definitely cover Kyouka and guarantee a safe, without-getting-sick way home.

The girl smiled and took the umbrella that was handed to her. She whispered a thank you and continued her way.

Atsushi waved and wished a good afternoon to her. He, then, proceeded to make his way to Akutagawa's fancy apartment carefully, without anyone noticing he isn't going to his dorm.

On his way there, he passed from the river he had his first encounter with Dazai. He prefers to call it "the point my life started".

He crossed the road and made it to the other side. He found a nice, completely wet bench (it's not like it mattered, he was soaked himself) and decided to take a few minutes to admire the view. It wasn't anything spectacular, really. However Atsushi paid attention to the small details that made nature extraordinary. He noticed the water rising, strong waves splashing on the sore. He was seriously contemplating whether he should jump in or not.  He sort of felt like Dazai in that moment, seeking for a sufficient way to die was definitely something the suicidal man did on a daily basis.

"It is said that cats despise water, you must be an exception." A tall, lanky figure emerged from the shadows. Atsushi was extremely familiar with that voice, he'd recognise it anywhere.

He kept quiet and his eyes were glued to the river although he noticed the man sat next to him, covering him with an unusual umbrella.

He looked up to the unusual-shaped umbrella only to find out it was Rashōmon. "Is this a new trick of yours?" He giggled and Akutagawa blushed slightly. Atsushi wouldn't have noticed the red on the other's face if it wasn't for the sunset shining his face, complimenting and bringing out his characteristics more.

The black-haired man noticed the emptiness in the younger's eyes and decided it was best to wrap it up here. "I'm tired, let's go home." He announced.

"A few more minutes..." Atsushi leaned his head on Akutagawa's shoulder. He was aware of the fact that if he stood up, he would pass out right that second. He was too weak to move, he hasn't ate in a couple of days and his body was slowly failing him. Therefore, why not just enjoy the sunset with his partner with whom he knew he didn't have much time to spend with left?

The two men admired the sunset in silence.

1120 words

Hey hey😘

I'm expecting feedback/ thoughts for this new chapter and expect the next one in about one week (or two I'm not sure)

ALSO, make sure to check my ao3 account "Penny4lifee" where I upload more fanfics