The Mafia's surrogate

nervously inlove.

Alic
I walked behind following Nick to the poolside, shit I didn't think this through.

I am so nervous my heart could literally explode , Nick always did this to me he always made me sweat.

My heart was beating faster every step I took , geez keep it together Alic.

He stood infront of the pool taking of his shoes and rolling up his pants , he sat down dipping his feet in.

I did the same maybe it will help calm me down.

I kept quiet for a while starring at him watching as his face muscles relax then fully go back to being annoyed, I liked this about Nick.

He is always so truthful, his face told you everything about him whether he's sad , angry or happy he always showed it.

" you're did call me here to stare at me did you ?" He asked looking into the pool.

I swallowed the lump in my throat " I love you" I blurted out but it came out like a whisper " what ?" , " I mean I am madly in love with you Nick " he looked ahead took a deep breath then laid back.

" Lic you're not gay , ive watched you date or let's say fuck woman , this thing you're doing you just want my attention like you usually do , love ?" He chuckled.

" you don't even know what that is , months ago you wanted Anna now suddenly you're inlove with me? I know you ha..."

" Nicolas I am madly inlove with you and have been since the first time I met you , I screwed around because I was scared , I was young and afraid that my friends wouldn't accept me knowing I were gay , so everytime we'd go out id talk to girls so you guys wouldn't suspect a thing , I know for a fact I am not gay cause ive tried it being with another man , right there and then I knew it was only you that I wanted, I am not attracted to other man but you " he turned his head looking at me.

" that night we kissed at the back room , I remember, I pretended not to so you would feel ashamed or act weird , you started being nervous maybe you thought id tell someone , I figured you were just as scared as me so I kept it to myself " , " Lic listen ".

" please just let me finish let me say this please " he nodded " I've never been attracted to Anna she reminds me of Lisa , that pulled me into wanting to protect her because I couldn't protect Lisa , It was never love it will never be love because I know I love you , and it's fine if you don't want me in that way but please don't run away from me or try to avoid me at least let's stay as friends, I promise I won't try ruining your dates again I'll support you no matter what " he kept quiet his eyes closed arms behind his head , his face relaxed.

He got up looking at me pulling his feet out crossing infront of him as he faced me " how do you know its love?" I smiled looking at him as he fiddled with his fingers , his habit when he's nervous.

I pulled out my stress ball and gave it to him " I carried this ball around for 17 years , have you noticed how its never for me but for you , you're the first person I want to see every morning so I buy you , your favorite coffee and croissants cause you like a snack before your actual breakfast, when you don't eat you have these headaches and I always shout at you whilst feeding you either cake or donuts because you have low blood pressure, you need something sweet every now and then, you always buy nuts and raisins but you're allergic to raisins, I usually eat all the raisins and leave the nuts for you , your throat used to hurt everytime you ate Ms Mary's food and I knew it was because of the coconut oil she used whilst cooking so I changed it , and you've never been sick again , you like being tough hate medication and only I can make you have medication without you being aware of it , what I am saying is you're the first person I want to see when I wake up and when i go to bed , you make me nervous and make my heart beat when you laugh , when you smile or ay on me for comfort that warms me up , you're always so honest and ready to stand by what you believe in , ive secretly watched you break down till you passed out , when you lost your mom , it was me that always took you home ,I can easily find you because ive learnt you for years , I know you more than I know myself, and we both know I am not one to be interested in others but I am interested in you" I cupped his cheek.