The Farmer's Son

Chapter 18 Great Expectations

Despite claiming he was not in the mood, Alan was charming and funny, and slightly shy, which immediately drew in Kathy, the girl in the white dress, while her friend could not take her eyes from Ray. In the beginning everyone seemed to be having a good time. Until, that is, Ray and Christy went to dance, and Alan's mood plummeted. He watched the two on the dance floor, giggling and whispering, not an inch of space between them. Then their heads bent together.

"Alan?" Kathy, sitting opposite him, with her back to the dance floor, leaned forward in concern. "Is everything okay?"

"Um," Alan said, looking down, face averted. "Yeah. I'm just going to...to get us some more drinks. I'll be right back." And before she could reply, he slid out of his seat and headed towards the bar.

She watched him go, then turned to glance behind her, where he had been looking, and saw Ray and Christy, locked in a kiss.

Alan placed both hands on the bar and bowed his head, breathing deeply. Eyes closed, he jumped when a hand clapped him on the shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Ray asked, moving to lean on the bar. He raised his hand and nodded to Hank for another beer. "I looked over and Kathy was all alone."

"I'm surprised you noticed," Alan said, with more bitterness than he intended.

Ray, however, didn't pick up on it, and he turned to put his back to the bar and look to the table, where the two girls were. "Well?" he asked.

"Well, what?"

"Kathy's clearly interested. What are you going to do about it?"

Alan gave a cursory glance back. "Shouldn't I ask you that? Christy is ready to see if they rent that blue van out there by the hour."

Ray laughed. "I'm not that kind of guy."

"Didn't seem that way."

That time Ray heard the edge in Alan's voice, and he glanced at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Alan said in a clipped tone, his brows drawing together.

"What, did you want Christy?"

"No," Alan snapped. "I told you I wasn't in the mood. If all you wanted was a girl, you didn't need to drag me out with you. That wasn't the kind of night I signed up for."

"Alright. Fine, I'll get rid of them," Ray said with a shrug.

"Wait," Alan said, turning to look at Ray. He shook his head, confusing himself as much as Ray. "Look, I'm sorry. I-it just caught me by surprise."

"What did?"

Lips parted, Alan looked into Ray's eyes, but his throat closed over the words he wasn't ready to admit yet. Blue eyes blinked at him, completely unaware, and Alan was suddenly faced with understanding.

He had for the most part grown accustomed to Ray's playfulness, which over the past few months had shifted into teasing and light flirting. He hadn't seen Ray with many other people, only his father, so Alan didn't really know if that was just Ray, or.... something else.

Tonight, though, he had his answer. If Ray teased him, it was only because there was no one else around for him to play with. If Ray flirted, it was only because he was naturally that way.

That was all it had ever been.

With a quiet sigh that released any expectation he might have built, Alan said, "It doesn't matter. Maybe I'm just rusty," he added, rubbing the back of his neck.

"That's what happens when all your friends are your Pa and Bear."

"Hey, leave Bear out of this."

Ray laughed. Taking his beer, he tipped it to his lips. After a long pull, he looked up at a sigh that was not his. Beside him, Alan looked down at his mug with a pensive, maybe even slightly depressed, expression. "Alan?" Ray said, frowning slightly. "Are you okay?"