Empires S1 Heathers AU

Beautiful

September 1st 1989, dear Diary,

I think I'm a good person I think anyone can be one if they try, but here we are first day of  senior year and... I look around at these people I've known since Pre-K and I ask myself what happened to us? They call each other "freaks, sluts, burnouts, homos, cripples, and much more." Why can't it be when we baked cookies with our moms and when we played tag?

I should introduce the people I mildly pay attention to.

Sausage Mythlands: 3rd year as linebacker and 8th year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick._--_';

My diary was smacked out of my hand "what were you writing about me HOMO?" Sausage snarled at me

"Nothing important!" I squeaked and picked up my diary and ran out the cafeteria

Sorry dairy Sausage is really an asshole am I right? Anyway then there's the assholes 'best friend' I put quotes because there's no way they aren't AT LEAST fuck-buddies, anyway his name is Fwhip Grimlands smartest guy on the football team, like being the tallest dwarf.

Then there's shubble, she's my best friend since we children she's a total sweetheart, it's movie night and it's the 1000th time she's rented it, we both memorized it by now, help please :(

Then there's the 3 they float above everything, Kathrine Overgrown, head cheerleader, her mom's LOADED she sells engagement rings, pearl Gilded Helithena(idk how to spell it) no personality at first glance but she has implants so that's something she also runs the year book, then there's Lizzie Prisma the Almighty she's a mythic bitch. They're never harassed never bothered everyone wants to be them, just like me. Everyone who likes girls wants to date them, everyone wants to sit with them.

Anyway bye diary!

I close my diary, sit back and relax for just a moment. Only a moment though.

"Guahhhh!" I heard someone vomit. I turn my head in alarm and see it's pearl vomiting into a janitors bucket. "She ate the chicken didn't she?" I said to myself

"Grow up pearl bulimia is soo '87." Lizzie said

"Maybe you should go to the nurse pearl."

"Yeah Kathrine maybe I should."

I start foraging a hall pass for myself as I just barely heard the bell over the vomiting. I then think of an opportunity to be on good terms with the 3. I forage their names with mine, and right when I'm done Ms. Fleming comes in.

"Ah! Lizzie and Kathrine." She said. Pearl vomited again "and Pearl."Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over the vomiting? You're late for class." She said meanly.

"Pearl wasn't feeling well we're helping her." Lizzie said

"Not without a hall pass your not. Weeks detention."

I run up to Ms. Fleming "um actually Ms Fleming all 4 of us are out ON a hall pass... Year book committee..." Pearl looked at her like 'yeah we are read it's and she did

"I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going." She handed the note back to me and to her classroom. Lizzie walked up to me and held out her hand, I placed the note in her hand and she read it

"This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?" She looked at me expectantly.

"Um... Joey...Graceffa. I crave a boon."

"What boon?" Lizzie looked at me coldly

"Please let me sit at your table I'm getting bullied and we don't even need to talk!" I say enthusiastically. They laughed at me. "Before you decide I can also forge report cards, doctor's notes, and absent notes."

"How about prescriptions?" Pearl asked, fair question, but only doctors can read that it's a different language at this point.

"Shut up pearl"

"Sorry Lizzie."

"You know for a greasy little nobody... You do have good bone structure." Lizzie commented. Did she just.. compliment me?

"And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat clever down the center of your skull I'd have matching halves that's very important." Kathrine said drawing an invisible line down my face.

"Of course you could lose some pounds!" Pearl said, Lizzie shut her up real fast.

"Shrub get me your brush. Pearl get me some no-makeup makeup sets, we can make this work." She paused and looked at me "okay?" I nod excitedly,

"Okay!" I then get dragged to an empty space.

By the end I barely recognized myself. My hair was nice and straight, my skin was clear I was... Beautiful. Everyone was staring at me trying to figure out who I was until shrub saw me

"Joey!?" She exclaimed. I whip out my phone and explain why I can't come over for movie night unfortunately. She gave me a thumbs up and I sat down next to the heathers in class. Today marks a new era for me. From a nobody to a popular guy.