Annoying new partners

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"Look now, fellas!" you shouted, surveying the carnage. "Everyone's dead but us! But, unfortunately, only one winner walks out of here... so I guess you guys gotta die now."

Stu's eyes widened, and he threw up his hands. "W-wait! Is there, like, a *loophole* where we, you know, maybe... *don't* die?"

"I just said there's only one winner, Stu. Like, literally five seconds ago." You raised your gun, ready to settle this, but were rudely interrupted by a loud shout.

"AY, AY, AY!" Billy flailed dramatically.

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! Hey, buddy, let's just... *talk* this out. We're friends, right?" Stu's voice cracked as both he and Billy yelled in unison.

You sighed. "Yeah, sure, we're friends. But don't worry—I'll totally remember you when you're dead." You raised the gun again.

"HEY, HEY, HEY! HOW ABOUT WE JUST *NOT* DO THIS?!" Stu shrieked.

"CALM DOWN, MAN!" Billy chimed in, equally panicked.

You lowered the gun, thoroughly annoyed. "Talk about *what* exactly?"

Billy, somehow still sweating and trying to act calm, swallowed nervously. "You know... the whole 'you killing us' thing? Maybe we just... don't do that?"

You rolled your eyes so hard you almost saw last week. "You've really got me reconsidering my decision here, Billy."

"AYYYY!" Billy grabbed Stu, who grabbed Billy, like they were clinging to life itself—because they were.

"What is *this*?" you asked, exasperated.

Stu, always the improviser, looked desperately at Billy for help. "How about we, um... *team up*?"

You squinted at them, confused. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah!" Billy said, grasping at straws. "We become your teammates."

"And why on *earth* would I want you two morons on my team?"

"Who wouldn't? We're handsome, fun—"

Billy slapped Stu upside the head. "Shut up, Stu. Think about it: it'd be easier to carry out your plans if you had help."

You crossed your arms. "I've literally killed all my victims by myself, my guy."

"Yeah, but wasn't it a *little* tiring? Wouldn't it be easier with two extra sets of hands?"

You tilted your head, thinking. "Hmmm. How can I trust you?"

Stu blinked. "Uh, how?"

You paused for a moment, then sighed. "Good question, honestly. I was gonna tell you guys to prove it by killing someone, but... turns out I already handled that." You gestured to the bodies littering the floor. "So... got any bright ideas?"

Billy and Stu exchanged a look, then Billy offered, "How about we, uh, *don't* kill anyone today?"

You raised an eyebrow. "So... you're saying *tomorrow* then?"

Stu, still clutching Billy, nodded furiously. "If you don't kill us *today*, sure!"

"Fine." You strolled around the counter, grabbed a knife, and cornered them, pointing it right at their terrified faces. "But if you two idiots even *think* about betraying me? You're dead. Got it?"

They gulped in unison, eyes wide as they stared back at you, hearts pounding like they were auditioning for a horror movie.

You smiled. "Good chat."

Murderer || Scream1996 x m!readerWhere stories live. Discover now