boy FRIENDS

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rewritten on 2024 9/12





It was a lazy Friday afternoon, and your plans were nonexistent, unless you counted staring at the ceiling and contemplating life's meaning (or the lack thereof). That's when your phone buzzed with a message from Stu

"Yo, hang out? Randy and Billy will be there. Meet us at the park at 1:30. Bring snacks or bring shame."

You glanced at the time. Of course, you had nothing better to do. And snacks were optional, right?

You shot back a quick reply, "On my way! but no promises about snacks."

Before you could ask why Tatum wasn't coming, Stu beat you to it: "Tatum's feeling meh today, decided to stay home. 🙁"

With that, you threw on your most "I-don't-care-but-I-kinda-do" outfit, because if you were going to hang with the boys, you had to at least look like you weren't trying too hard. Fifteen minutes later, you were out the door, making your way to meet your buddies.

When you finally arrived at the park, they were already there, lounging like they owned the place. Of course, you were the last to arrive, fashionably late, as always.

"Hey, N/N! Look who decided to show up!" Stu greeted you, patting you on the back with a little too much enthusiasm. You swore he was like an overgrown puppy that didn't know its own strength.

You all started strolling along the sidewalk, talking about everything and nothing. It was mostly Stu rambling, Randy throwing in sarcastic comments, and Billy... well, Billy just *being* Billy, which usually meant brooding in silence with a dash of menace.

"No way. N/N's too nice to be the killer," Billy said suddenly, draping an arm around your shoulder with a sly grin.

You raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so now I'm *too* nice to kill anyone?"

"Well, unless you're cool with spending the rest of your life in jail," Randy chimed in.

You chuckled. "Yeah, hard pass. I was kidding anyway. Not exactly into the whole 'getting chased by the FBI' thing."

Billy's smirk lingered a little too long for comfort, but Stu was already bouncing ahead, pointing out a pizza place they'd discovered recently. Pizza was code for "we're too lazy to plan anything better," so naturally, you all went in.

Billy went to grab the pizza, leaving you, Randy, and Stu to claim the seats near the window. When Billy returned with the pie, he sat down way too close to you, his arm still casually slung over your shoulder. You mentally noted how close he was sitting for a guy with a girlfriend. But hey, maybe it was just "homies being homies," right?

"So," Billy said, slicing through the tension with a smirk, "what's your favorite scary movie, N/N?"

Before you could answer, Stu cackled. "They're gonna say Halloween. All the hot people say Halloween."

You blinked. Wait. Did Stu just...was that... flirting? You shrugged it off. This was probably just his usual weird energy, right? Definitely.

"Actually, I like [insert your favorite horror movie]," you said, hoping to shift the awkward vibes back into neutral.

Randy bit into his slice and nodded approvingly. "I gotta admit, solid choice. Didn't peg you for that one, though."

"For once, I agree with Randy," Billy chimed in, shooting his friend a side-eye.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Randy protested, mouth full of pizza.

Moments later, Billy got up to go to the bathroom, and for some inexplicable reason, Stu followed him. You didn't ask questions. You had learned to not ask questions when it came to Stu.

While they were gone, Randy leaned in with the most bizarre question you'd heard all week: "Hey, have you ever wondered if Stu's...a god?"

You choked on your drink. "Excuse me, what?"

Randy shrugged. "Think about it. Gods are basically just... horny all the time, right? Stu fits the bill."

You couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, but as horny as Stu is, Zeus still wins that title by a mile."

Randy smirked. "You sure? With Stu, it's like 'any hole's the goal.' I wouldn't be shocked if he's got something going with Tatum and Billy on the side."

You raised an eyebrow. "You seem oddly confident about that."

Randy shrugged. "Hey, have you and Stu ever—"

"Whatcha guys talking about?" Stu appeared out of nowhere, plopping down in his seat with his trademark grin.

You stammered, caught off guard. "U-uh, we were just talking about... scary movies."

"Uh-huh, sure," Billy said, reappearing with a look that said he knew *exactly* what was going on.

"What do you think we were talking about, Billy?" you shot back, half-daring him to call you out.

Billy crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat. "Something about Stu. Obviously."

Randy, always ready to escalate, smirked. "Fine. We were debating whether Stu is secretly a god."

Billy raised an eyebrow. "A god?"

Stu grinned, eyes wide with fake surprise. "I'm a god? Makes sense. No wonder I'm so handsome."

"No one said that," Billy muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Uh, yeah. Everyone thinks it," Stu huffed, clearly offended by the lack of worship from his so-called followers.

You snickered. "That's a hilarious joke, Stu."

Stu clutched his chest dramatically. "Rude! You're just jealous you're not godly like me."

"Yeah, sure, Stu. Keep telling yourself that," Billy said, arms crossed as he leaned back into his chair.

And just like that, the rest of the afternoon was spent tossing banter around like pizza crusts, each of you trying to outwit the other.

By the time you parted ways, you couldn't help but admit that hanging out with the boys was actually pretty fun—even if they were all certifiably insane. Maybe next time, you'd rethink what you might do to them at the fiesta.





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ok so this chapter is kinda more like an extra chapter but whatever ¯\_()_/¯

ok so this chapter is kinda more like an extra chapter but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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