I would love to die

My Skin Is Crawling

Kai walked me back, his pace was always a step ahead of mine.

The pitter patter of our steps echoed in my head. Pounding like a bad headache. He knows the effect he has on me. I don't like it. He sees under my mask and makes me feel naked.

Once we reached our door he stopped staring at me as if he was waiting.
I open it up with the key he gave me before turning to him.

The pretty little princess couldn't get the door himself.

"What are you doing? Let's go in before anyone sees."

I attempt to usher him in quickly. Of course my attempt was futile.

"Go ahead, I have some errands."

He says nonchalantly. I nod slightly unsure by what he means.

Errands... What he has to go grocery shopping? Dry cleaning? Maybe pick the kids up from soccer.

"Okay... I swear to god tell anyone I'm your blood bag, and I will find a way to kill you. The world is full of books. I'm sure one holds the knowledge."

He rolls his eyes while walking away when I'm only halfway through what I began saying.

I sigh and throw a thumbs up over my head to him. before swinging my tired body inside the room.

I pull at my sleeves before I decide to I rip off my shirt.

The fabric was suffocating me. I could feel my skin crawling underneath it.
The scars itching every time the fabric would move.

I felt like I was in a straight jacket having to hide my arms. One of these days the wind is gonna blow, and my skirt is going to have a Marilyn Monroe moment. Then everyone will see those scars and I can stop hiding. 

I'll wait to see that day. Father would kill me if I voluntarily showed them.

I threw on a sports bra. And search through my piles of clothes.

Where are my god damn sweatpants?

I spot them out of the corner of my eye on the floor. I guess they tried to run away.

I snatch them up putting them on and tying the strings before moving everything off my bed.
And smoothing out my comforter.

I sit on the side of the bed and sigh dejectedly.

I'm so drained, I feel like an empty carcass of a person.

It was supposed to be simple. Go to school, see counselor, make dad happy, leave. It's simple see. Step by step all laid out and ready.

Kai has a hold of me. And no I don't mean hands around the throat.
Gasping for air.
He could snap my neck at any second.
None of it scares me.

I held my head in my hands gripping my hair. I throw myself back onto the bed frustrated by this whole ordeal.

I don't know now, what do I do.

I've never been kissed before. My hand goes up to slow trace my bottom lip. I guess I have been kissed now. I can't say that anymore.
I'd be lying.

I roll over and climb up into my bed, pulling my knees to my chest I glance over at Kai's bed.

Is he going to come back tonight?

I mean him making it clear I'm his and I quote blood bag would make rumors dissipate.

(Blood bag) Is a term used to describe a vampire, human relationship where the vampire solely feeds off that one person. And no one else is aloud to put their fangs in the said person.