Whisky, Women and World

Chapter 6

I watched through my car windshield as people strolled in and out of the office building, dressed in fancy clothing and sharing laughter. I had just finished the last mouthful of whisky from my bottle and was smoking my eleventh cigarette of the day. Seeing these people brought up a swirl of questions—was their joy real, or were they putting on a show? Could I ever be as genuinely happy as them, or be as good at pretending? I stared out of the window, unsure and lost in thought.

For those few seconds in the office elevator, it felt like an eternity. I stood out like a sore thumb among the neat and tidy earbuds in the see-through container. All the other earbuds were gleaming white, while I was a dingy brown. The air was so thick and heavy that it was difficult to breathe. The overpowering scent of the various perfumes and colognes of the people around me was almost too much for my nose. I had to fight to hold back a sneeze. On top of that, the office was located on the seventh floor, and with the amount of whisky I had consumed, I was sure I would stumble and fall in the middle of the ride.

Working for a magazine company was far from ideal. However, it was an easy job and I needed the money to support my habit of smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, and eating one meal a day. The majority of the stories in the magazine were related to politics, but my department, the movie and book reviews, only filled a small column in the publication. As a result, the job was not the most fulfilling, but it was necessary to help me get by. Movies have always been a source of entertainment, but for me, they have become mundane and dull. I can't help but think that the era of truly remarkable films is a thing of the past. Most magazines simply cover movies surrounded by controversy or commercial cinema. When I had to review a movie, I would wander around and get some perspective from people who had seen the movie and fill my write-up with interesting and meaningful quotes, which the company liked.

My job wasn't the most enjoyable experience, but it helped me stick to my writing habit. Even though I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about the topics I wrote about, I enjoyed the process of putting words together and creating something meaningful. Those few hours I spent writing every day were a great way to focus my energy on something. But I hated the monotony of sitting in those cubicles, surrounded by my co-workers' constant buzzing. The work was not particularly demanding and the salary was not very high, so I often felt I could come and leave as I pleased. I was often late for work, or wouldn't show up at all, and at times I would be so drunk that the security guards would have to wake me up and ask me to leave.

I walked through the office hallway, as others walked out to take a lunch break. Suddenly, I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and saw the HR person waving at me from her cabin. She motioned for me to come in, and I stepped into her office. It was clear that she wanted to talk to me about something, so I braced myself and waited for her to speak.

She had a habit of wearing snug attire that revealed her cleavage, and she was skimming through some documents when my attention was inadvertently drawn to it. I hadn't meant to focus on her cleavage, but the haze induced by alcohol led me to gaze at it momentarily. To my astonishment, she raised her eyes and inquired if I needed water. Caught in the act, I felt a surge of embarrassment, yet I graciously declined her offer.

A shiver coursed down my spine as I confronted the impending reality. This scenario felt all too familiar – a pattern I had witnessed when individuals were let go from the company. The room exuded a somber atmosphere, with only the ticking of the clock reverberating through the air. I gazed at the table, fixating on the documents sprawled across it, half-expecting her to broach the subject. I resolved not to complicate matters, opting to swiftly address the heart of the situation. I did not want to skirt around the issue or waste any time. Instead, I came straight to the point and laid out the facts.