One Shots & Ideas.

Momma's got ya.

A/N: oops, another depressing entry. I apologize for that. This sucks, oh well.

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"Honey, honey.." Kirstin's mom grabbed her upper arms. "Look at me. It's momma, you're okay." Kirstin's mom said in that voice that always calmed her down. That voice that Kirstin loved, yet that voice that she wanted to fight against.

"No!" Kirstin's mom grabbed the blade from her hand. "Give it back! I need it! Please!" Kirstin was on her hands and knees reaching after her mother before falling on her stomach and sobbing.

"Kirstin, please! You don't need this. You don't deserve this torture you give yourself. Look at me.." Her mom said. Kirstin looked up at her slowly, her eyes throbbing from the tears.

"Leave me alone." Kirstin whispered. "Stop telling me I don't deserve this because I do."

"I will keep telling you are important, deserving, loving, intelligent, worthy, compassionate, beautiful, creative, inspiring, brave, true, strong and able until you realize it for yourself." Her mom placed Kirstin's hands in hers. "Momma's life would be a wreck without you, baby."

"I just wonder what it's like to wake up and love yourself." Kirstin said.

"Kirst-"

"Let me finish. To look in the mirror, and not want to cry. To weigh yourself, see the number, and not want to puke. To be with whatever friends I have and not feel ugly. To go into public and not be insecure. To go shopping for clothes and not feel fat. I just wonder.. What it's like to love yourself." Kirstin closed her eyes and let her head rest back, allowing the tears to slowly stream down her cheeks.

"You know, butterflies have wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well. Come here." Her mom opened her arms and with light sobs Kirstin crawled into her lap and let her comfort her.

"I just feel like society is tell me to be myself, but when I try, society is like.. Not like that. And it's so screwed up." Kirstin said.

"I know, sweetheart. But one day, scissors will be for paper again. One day razors will be for shaving again. One day food will be for eating again. One day, cutting will be for arts and crafts again. One day, sadness will be temporary again. One day, life will be fun again. And one day.. We all will recover." Her mom hugged her tightly, slowly rocking back and forth in a soothing rhythm.

"You don't get it.." The tears were working themselves up once again. Kirstin got up and grabbed a glass plate from one of the kitchen cabinets. "Take this and throw it on the floor."

"What? Why-"

"Just do it. Please." Kirstin snapped at her own mom.

Kirstin's mom did so, throwing it a safe distance away from the two. "Okay, done." Her mom grazed her eyes over the glass shards on the floor.

"Did it break?" Kirstin asked her.

"Yes." She replied.

"You must feel bad. Now, say sorry to it." Kirstin motioned at the broken pieces of the plate.

"I'm sorry." She murmured.

"Did it go back to how it was before?" Kirstin asked her.

"No." She looked at Kirstin.

"Now do you understand?" Kirstin's mom didn't say anything, she pulled Kirstin into a tight hug.

"Can you remember who you were before the world told who you should be?" She whispered into Kirstin's ear.

"No. I just feel so alone and I don't know if anyone even cares." Kirstin stepped back from her mothers embrace. "All I know is that life is a nightmare.. And all I can do is think about when did this all just get so hard?" Kirstin sobbed. She rested against the kitchen counter, tears continuously streaming down her face and a hand over her mouth to contain the sobs.

"I know it's hard. I've seen people go through this. It's not fair. But Kirstin, why do you think ending your life is the answer?" She asked Kirstin. Kirstin could see the tears threatening to spill from her mothers eyes. "After all your father and I try and do for you.. It just doesn't make sense. We are your support. We love you more than anyone ever will. So many attempts from you and I can't thank the lord enough for me being around. We could've shipped you off by now, or put you in some mental hospital.. But no. I personally would be nothing with out you." That's when the tears began to flow.

"I'm not saying I'm suicidal. I'm just saying that if a car came at me.. I wouldn't exactly get out of the way." Kirstin muttered.

"It's kills me to see someone as beautiful as you so sad. You don't deserve to be." She looked at Kirstin.

"You know.. The worst kind of sad is the sad where you try to ignore it and then it gets so bad that one day you just breakdown. And you can't take anything anymore." Kirstin cried more, knowing that she wasn't going to stop anytime soon. "Please.." Kirstin fell to her knees. "Give it back! Please! I need it!" Kirstin screamed.

"No! Hurting your own skin isn't going to help, you know that!" Her mother screamed back.

"God dammit!" Kirstin screamed. She turned around and hit the lower kitchen cabinets with her fists. "It's not fair! It's not fair!" Kirstin screamed over and over. She pulled at her long blonde hair.

"Stop! Baby, please!" Kirstin's mother grabbed her hands. "I did not raise you like this.. Please.. This is not you.." Her mother held her as she struggled. Kirstin's mother watched in horror as her own daughter was fighting against her to try and hurt her own self.

"No! No no no no! I can't take it! Don't pretend you understand me! I can't even go in the fucking bathroom without feeling scared of making myself throw up! I can't go to school or around my friends without feeling judged! I can't do anything!" Kirstin pushed her mother back, causing her mom to stumble to the ground. Kirstin took off, sprinting up the stairs. Her mother, as quickly as she could, got up and heard the bathroom door shut. 'Click.' Kirstin's mother heard the lock of the door. She grasped onto the doorknob, wiggling it before giving up. She started banging on the door.

"Kirstin, no! Open this door! Right now!" Her mother screamed through her sobs. Nothing was heard from Kirstin. "Open the door.. Please.." Her mother cried. She couldn't stand it, she hit the door, breaking it before it finally opened up. "No! Put those down!" She grabbed the bottle of pills Kirstin was shakily trying to open. They fought for them between each other before the pill bottle came open and the pills scattered everywhere.

"No!" Kirstin yelled. "No! Look what you did!" She was on her knees before falling on her side. "You ruined it! You ruined them! I wanted to die!" Kirstin sobbed.

"No you don't, honey. No you don't.. You're fine." Kirstin's mother scooped her up in her arms, cradling her in her lap. "It's okay, momma's got ya.."