Espresso Cookie was wandering around the blank, cold, bitter cities and towns of Earthbread, taking a look at the abandoned looking houses, the flickering street lights, the paint of almost every traffic light and stopped sign being chipped off, the streets looking empty and giving the sense of fear and hopelessness. Every step felt like he was about to fall. He was out of place, but not because he stood out like a sore thumb, but because unlike the other cookies who didn't notice him dragging himself along the pavement floor, smiling and laughing as the sun tortured their dough with the scorching heat and light, but because unlike these other cookies.... He was dead. Every day like he was floating along with his arms and legs being stabbed by the sun rays and the depths of the dark sky overtaking his soul.
Espresso knew He was mad at him. Mad at him for his selfish act. He remembered the moment he felt his body go limp, his eyes losing the light and alertness they once had, his arms and legs going numb... and the last thing he saw... it was the look of betrayal. Espresso knew He felt betrayed... He felt angry at him. He died tragically, and tried His best to guide him through everything, trying to get the stubborn, bitter, manic Espresso Cookie to live a life without Him, all for Him to see Espresso slowly go insane without him, constantly trying to find a way to revive Him for his own selfish manic necessity to have Him around. Espresso Cookie knew it was stupid. Espresso Cookie knew he was quite an intelligent cookie and should not have become so dependent on Him. But He was so kind to him... something he appreciated despite Espresso Cookie claiming he found annoying. But the moment He left his side, Espresso went insane. Espresso clung to anything that he could that belonged to Him. He desperately tried to remember every word He'd say, every smile He'd give to him, every song he would hum while they journeyed... every melody that reminded Espresso of him.... Anything. He kept strands of his cream-colored, gorgeous, soft, shiny and flowing hair and he kept pictures of him near his desk.
Of course, several cookies told him this behavior was just unacceptable, and that this was an unhealthy way to cope! But Espresso thought, they just didn't understand how much He meant to me! They would never understand! Espresso was supposed to be happy with Him, they were supposed to live happily ever after, they were supposed to have love between them that would last a lifetime! Espresso's entire life was ripped apart after His death. How on earth was he supposed to live without Him!?
If those other cookies who criticized him, made him feel like shit for going insane after losing the one who provided light to his cold, bitter heart wanted him to be normal again after experiencing such a horrifying tragedy, then he would just bring back the one who kept him sane, the one who got him to keep going, to never give up throughout the good and the bad. If Espresso were to become who he once was, he would have to revive Him. Espresso spent hours, which became, days, months, years, experiment after experiment trying to revive Him. Espresso of course, couldn't do it alone. He got help from Strawberry Crepe Cookie, who provided the desperate, worn out Cookie with Wafflebots who would do tasks for Espresso, and assist him on his quest to revive the dead from their rotten graves, trying to prevent them from disintegrating into nothingness as the worms deep below ate them with no remorse.
Tragically, during this quest was when Espresso's life finally gave way. It was like any other day, on the verge of going into insanity, Espresso was scribbling notes away, trying new ingredients, trying new combinations and recipes, and experimenting... when Espresso asked for a coffee from a Wafflebot. The Wafflebot came over with the coffee when suddenly, the Wafflebot tripped over some papers Espresso had forgotten to organize, and the coffee spilled all over the floor, and all over the Wafflebots. Suddenly, all the Wafflebots began to glitch, their eyes becoming dark, menacing and threatening. They began to unleash their weaponry, and began to go towards Espresso.
Now, Espresso knew that with his strength he'd be able to defeat all the Wafflebots with ease. But he didn't. Because Espresso didn't want to. Espresso had spent all this time, all his energy wanting to revive Madeleine, but why should he, when he had the chance to join Madeleine up there...? This was the perfect opportunity in Espresso's view. The perfect opportunity to be at peace.
Espresso remembered feeling the Wafflebots stabbing him all over, slowly cutting him up, with bloody jam splattering all over himself and the floor, all his past work being contaminated. He remembered feeling his limbs slowly lose strength, his mind slowly flicker on and off.... And despite all the numbing pain, he had no regrets. Not until he saw His spirit. The one who Espresso loved, the one who Espresso was trying to revive looked at him in anger, horror, and disappointment. His eyes were no longer the warm brilliant blue that would great him with love and care when He saw Espresso, they were cold, distant and lifeless... His usual warm smile was replaced with a menacing scowl, a scowl that Espresso kept ingrained in his mind, reminding him of the mistake he did all that time ago. Espresso hasn't spoken to His spirit form since then, but Espresso knew He was mad. Not about Espresso dying, but mad that Espresso did nothing about it. Espresso never went to find him, because Espresso knew he wouldn't receive forgiveness unless Espresso forgave himself, and that's what hurt the most. Espresso knew that he'd never see him again, and that was the sad truth.
And now, Espresso remained in spirit form, walking along the streets, sulking to himself in pain and regret for his unforgivable selfish act. He would occasionally go check to see his grave, feeling pure guilt whenever he saw one of his friends crying in anguish and pain at Espresso's death.
Espresso didn't remember his life with Him as a couple, but he remembered how beautiful it felt, how magical the experience was, and how comforting it was to take a break from working and meeting up with him, and being greeted with his warm, brilliant eyes and kind, sugary sweet smile... Espresso relished these memories with glee, as he knew the chances of him feeling happiness and joy were slim, and Espresso would grasp any opportunity he could to feel that hint of joy... Espresso could feel emotion, but when he did, it was mostly regret and disappointment. Regret of not going about things the right way, and the disappointment of not being able to feel the emotions he once did, the disappointment of the numbness in his heart.
Today, Espresso decided to pay a visit to his favorite spot to go to ever since Madeleine died. Espresso slowly moved through the walls of the tallest building he could find, slowly walking up the steps of the creaky, stone stairs and approaching the rooftop, which had scorching hot pavement, and a perfect view of the sunset. The sun seemed to be lowering slowly, the sky being filled with all sorts of reds, pinks, purples and oranges, illuminating the skies with a faux hope that perhaps a miracle was about to occur. Espresso knew the sun setting meant that there would be danger looming in Earthbread, and that all sorts of creatures would come out and try to eat all the Cookies whole, but even if the miraculous light was a lie to keep him sane, he enjoyed it. Espresso had sat himself on the rooftop as usual, waiting for the explosions of color and light before the darkness unfolded, leaving him full with sorrow.
While Espresso waited for the sun to go down, he felt this starry presence around him. This familiar, yet unknown aura, one that was filled with guilt and sorrow, yet optimism and love... Espresso turned around and his eyes began to go wide with surprise. For the first time since his death, he finally spoke.
"Madeleine Cookie...." He whispered in a hushed, quiet tone. Which was to be expected, as he hasn't spoken in so long.
Espresso didn't know how to feel about Madeleine coming to see him. Madeleine didn't look as angry or as disappointed as Espresso remembered. Madeleine just sat beside him and while he didn't look happy, he looked understanding. Espresso had no idea of Madeleine's true feelings about Espresso, and Madeleine didn't know Espresso's true feelings either. Neither Espresso or Madeleine said a word to each other, as neither of them wanted to ruin this beautiful, necessary moment. They just sat together, and decided to enjoy the sunset as two unfulfilled spirits who had finally reunited after spending so much time with their hearts shattered.
The sunset was nothing but a false glimpse of hope until the dark, cold reality loomed over at night to remind all cookies alike that no matter how civilized we may be, that we were always be wild animals, constantly fighting for survival and fighting each other until the day we're all destroyed and rot away, accepting our fate. But for now, they would enjoy each other's company, and decide on how they were going to go about their unresolved problems later. They had more than a lifetime to think their problems through.
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Lost memories and time (Oneshot)
FanfictionEspresso was dead, and full of regrets. He spends his days as a spirit sulking about how much of his life had been a mistake that should have never happened.
