Five Pebbles x Reader Fanfiction

Chapter ??? - (Crack) CastleFanvia

(WARNING: This chapter is mostly noncannon (wait for the end for explanation) and intended as a crack chapter! I am literally throwing all the dumb shit in my brain at this story. The storyline will proceed where the last chapter left off. Also, I have an announcement at the end!)

(Artist: Airooxy on Fur Affinity! If you wish for any art from you to be taken out of this fan fiction, plz comment! Thx!)

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I went off to grab some food after swimming and bathing in the lake. I slipped back into the pipe, holding some fruit. "Hey, Five- uh..." I said, trailing off. Five Pebbles wasn't nude anymore, but his cloak was still being held for picking out lithium flakes. It was... rather jarring seeing what he had on. He was wearing a one-piece dark bathing suit looking thing with fur around his neck and shoulders, along with cat paws, ears, and a collar with a bell. He turned to me, blushing. "... Five Pebbles, why are you wearing a catsuit?" He grunted and crossed his arms, his leopard print tail swishing back and forth behind him. "I don't have clothes yet..." "Why do you have a catsuit? I mean, I'm not judging or anything if that's what you're into, but where do you even store it?" I asked, drifting toward him. He looked around. "I tried to make an Onlyfans. Speaking of which..." He grabbed me, and sent us both back through the pipe. "What's going on?" I asked, holding his soft paw. "Going to find the Onlyfans king." He said, as we drifted out of the hallways into a larger area. "Uh... what?" I was deeply confused. He started going up the pipes, as I followed obliviously.

Once we got to the upper areas, the gravity began to weigh us down to our natural weight. "Okay, so I told you I tried to make an Onlyfans. The keyword here is 'tried'. I'm apparently 'nOt A rEaL pErSoN' according to that idiot." He snatched a spear, and I took the cue to do the same. No matter how crazy this sounds, I support him, I guess. "So are we gonna... talk to them? Kill them?" "I plan to threaten them, but other than that I hope not to get blood on my catsuit." He said, as we walked outside. I shrugged, and walked with him. "Are we gonna get you the account, or is this about the principal or whatever?" I asked, having a hard time taking him seriously when his ears twitched in such a cute way. "I'd like an account, but it's mostly principal. No one gets to be automacist to me! Who the fuck do they think they are?" He clenched his paw around the spear, stomping with his adorable little beans against the ground, but they made very little noise.

I chuckled, and nodded. "I'll help you out. This person sounds like a tool." I said, walking up at the same pace as we came to the wall. "Right? I mean, how hard is it to be a smol mechanical megalomaniacal kuudere femboy cat on the internet?" I cracked up at his description of himself, or at the very least the persona he built for his online self. "Er- yeah, i-it sounds hard." I mumbled.
We embarked on a several cycle adventure.

—

We ran through a place that was like the Shaded Citadel on crack. I don't know where he got it from - he literally pulled it out of his suit - but Fives has a gun now, and I think he's starting to lose his mind. We've been here for 17 cycles, and somehow he was still functional and fighting train lizards. Fucking train lizards, dude! I saw him wrestle one with his paws once! Everything is going well as you can tell, I'm sure. This is for Onlyfans and vengeance. I don't know where we are anymore, and I don't really care, all I know is I'm pretty much done with this.

"We're almost there! The king of Onlyfans is in a chamber up ahead!" Fives called out, leading the charge. I nodded. "Right behind you." I responded, prying a spear from a lizard's head. He ran up ahead, as I followed him to a pipe. He jumped in, and wiggled a bit to squeeze in. I jumped in afterward.

On the other side was an open chamber with several navy blue and scarlet holograms flying around, some open to unfamiliar sites... I looked around at each one of the screens, seeing various different formats. There were some really strange texts from what I'm pretty sure are chat sites. In the center of the large room were several pillows, blankets, plushies, and beanbags surrounding some furniture, including a tall gaming chair like a messy living room. It faced the other way, and I couldn't see who was on it... Five Pebbles pointed a spear out to them. "Hey!" He called out. "Give me my goddamn account, you dumb E-enby mouse!" Whatever was on screen in front of the chair got paused, and a controller with a green 'X' on the center was set nearby by a dark, midnight blue paw. The person on the chair chuckled darkly like a villain, and slowly turned their chair to face us. I couldn't believe it... the Onlyfans king... is a slugcat? They had varying gradients of cyan and navy, as well as a few little bits of maroon fur, and milky white eyes. They hunched over, looking rather smug (ya'll know who it is). "Five Pebsi..." They said, smirking a big scarlet smile. "I've been expecting you ÒwÓ" I was ready for a fight originally, expecting some terrifying creature or something, but now I'm just... confused... They seemed to grow confused as well, as the scug and I locked gazes. "OwO what dis? Oh... You aren't supposed to be here." "Give me my account, you gay frog!" Fives yelled, pointing his spear at the slugcat. "Could you not?" The slugcat picked up a strange lumpy blue sphere, and chucked it so hard at Fives' head he was knocked back several feet. The sphere levitated into the air, a storm of sparks flying around it as he laid underneath it. I was about to run and help him, but the orb exploded - or rather imploded. I gasped, watching as he, along with just about every object he was surrounded by collapsed into a single spot for a moment, just for everything to be shot right back out. It was hard to look at, like a black hole...

Fives was flopped down, his rear up in the air and face flat on the ground. "Five Pebbles!" I screamed as I ran to him. I shook his shoulder, watching him twitch every once in a while. He groaned deeply. "He's fiiiine just a widdle tuckered out. You'd be surprised how hard it is to kill him." The slugcat said, as they got off their gaming chair. I looked at them, ready to hurt them for basically throwing a black hole at my- well er- at Five Pebbles. At least he's alive, or else I'd probably kill them. "So anyway, you're not supposed to be here." They came up to me. I snarled at them. "What are you talking about?" I said, irritated and confused. "Okay so uhhh... this is hard to explain, gimme a sec, I gotta fix some shit lol" Why are they talking like that? What's even going on? I watched as they walked around, flipping through some things. "Who are you?" I asked, flipping over Five Pebbles so he could be more comfortable. "Oh I go by many names! Sofanthiel Enot, Inv, ??? (I imagine a really confused 'huh???'), Paintcat... my mate calls me Dommy sometimes! :3" I blushed slightly at the slight overshare, my expression contorting into a deeply confused face. "Okay uh... Enot? What exactly is going on?" I asked, lowering my spear a bit. "It's a lot to explain, multiversal omniversal stuff, you know how it is. It's so weird that you're heeere! :D You're supposed to be in a different- ohh I pwobably made an oopsie with the timewines again >w<" I am both confused and uncomfortable by this point. "I think you just gave me rot." "Okay cool." They said, flipping through a few things.

Suddenly everything turned red, everything around the room growing dim and the holograms were bright red. Enot smirked, and walked up to me. "Okay, time to go!" They said, coming closer. I pointed a spear at them. "Ah-ah! Give him an Onlyfans first!" I said, feeling like an animal backed into a corner. Probably not the best time to negotiate, but I still want to help him with this... rather insane shit. Enot waved their paws. "Okay, okay! It's done!" They said, as I lowered my spear. I nodded slowly, as they approached me again. "Okay, sooooo I maaaay have made a mistake. I'll send you to your universe... in exchange for a kiss?~" I shot them an unamused look. They giggled a bit. "Jk, I know you're Pebsi's boo, he'd kill me over and over again if he found out I forced you to kiss me. Understandable though, if someone smooched my mate, I'd probably be pissed or... something else. I dunno, it's up to them UwU" They shrugged, obviously bubbly over their supposed mate. "Who is your mate anyway?" I asked, looking around. Wherever they are, they aren't here. Unless they're imaginary. "Oh they're the prettiest little nebula... Such a dazzling widdle light in the sky... I probably shouldn't say their name. You'll know them when you see them." They said, their eyes fluttering dreamily. I tilted my head. "What do you mean when?" I asked, as they jumped slightly. "Oh uh- just a possibility, but uh... umm..." They fumbled, making me question how clumsy they are, but also just how powerful they are. Then I began to question a little more...

They suddenly came up close to me. "Uhhhh fuck, I dunno how to make you forget so um- get scugged, loser!" Enot raised his fist and punched me so hard I got knocked out.

—

My eyes opened to show that I was in Five Pebbles' room again. He was nude again, no catsuit this time, no nonbinary E-enby slugcat, no black holes, everything is fine. Everything is normal... Who was Enot? What were they talking about with timelines? And who was that 'pretty little nebula'?
I looked around the room, watching as he moved around.

"What the fuck?"

—

(I'm going to be slowing down with chapter making so I can create a better structure for this! Also, I created a Oneshot Book for Rain World, so go check that out!)