𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗬 | heejake

chapter four

I'm not sure how this is supposed to go, I'm feeling so warm and weird that it's just like sweat could fall off of my golden skin. I can't really think straight, all I can think of it's his hands gripping my hips, his hot breath on my skin and the words he's using to make me go insane, that's what will happen if he keeps being like this with me, I don't think that's because I like him, but I might be a little desperate.

Can you blame me though? I've been locked up for years with him in this apartment, and with the rules we agreed on, none of us ever invited a guy or a girl over. So yes I'm sexually frustrated, it's definitely not something to joke about, it's a serious matter that makes me do stuffs that I once refused to do out of pride, and now it's washing all over me, I'm drowning in it, I do need some help, great help actually.

I am out of control.

"what have you heard, exactly..." I asked out of cupidity, knowing what he'd come up with, he's so strange, I can expect the worst from him "well..." his lips stumbled over my ear, my whole body shuddered without my consent, I wish I could control my feelings like he does so easily, but I can't.

I didn't expect him to do what he's currently doing, but he's literally softly moaning into my ear, even groaning and all the sounds that goes with it. I can feel his smile against my ear, that's frustrating, if I was sane enough he would already be down, a punch on his nose, or just a strong slap on his cheek, but the problem is that I can't even move properly.

I'm too stunned.

"but you were much louder in my opinion" he added, like gasoline to fire, I'm disturbed yet intrigued "and? is that a crime..." I couldn't see his eyes, but I know he's staring at my face from behind "is it?" why is he asking with so much passion and irony, it's awkward to me, I've never seen this side of him, and I'm not sure how am I supposed to understand any of it. Am I supposed to laugh or play along with him or what, I don't get it.

"not for me"

the atmosphere cooled down a little, I stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about something, I'm sure he's also thinking about something, he's always talking, no matter what, so when he's not I know he's thinking about something, or just planning to do something.

"I have something very inappropriate to say"

"Go ahead" he lowered his voice after I did so "okay, then fuck me on the counter" I can't believe I just said that.

I suddenly feel heavy, no it's my chest, it's so heavy, it's like someone was sitting on me. that's when it hits me, both of my eyelids opened quickly.

I was dreaming.

"what the fuck" I try to move but there's actually something on me, or more like hugging me tightly, it's heeseung, he's also wearing a pyjama with giraffes on it, his hair are messy fluffy-like "what time is it..." I whispered so I wouldn't wake him up, it's not out of courtesy, but once he's awake it's like living in a zoo, and if I can avoid that I'll gladly do it "oh well" it's only two in the morning. I should go back to sleep, but when I remember what my dream looked like, my heart raced.

that is so gross, how can I be attracted to this.

I really need to pee though, I'll have to get rid of him, in a way or another.

"why are you moving so much?" too bad he's awake now, but he still manages to look cute, that's not what you think okay "I need to use the bathroom"

"oh okay" he's opening his arms so I can leave, but just when I was about to leave the room, I think of something, on how did he enter my room when I literally locked the door before going to bed, and also the conversation we had, did we actually get this conversation or no, because it felt very much real, or maybe it's just me who's anxious about the idea of him hearing me when I do these kind of things, whatever, that's probably not the case. okay let's be real, I'm not a kid anymore, it should be easy to use that word, masturbating is not a bad word.