Lizzie And Mac

Chapter 14

A Very Short Beginning, And A More Than Painful Ending, And BTW Mac-Ass, F You Always And Forever

June

Lizzie

Things since the big blow up with Mac have been so much better. I can truly see that he's trying to understand my need to work and provide for myself, I know he doesn't agree with me, he doesn't make any attempt to pretend that he does. But that's ok, because we both are being totally honest about our feelings on the matter, and he is 100% supportive of me right now.

Mac's reasons for hating my job aren't wrong. I hate my job too. But fortunately, or unfortunately, I have a face and body that photograph well, basically I'm a symmetrical blank canvas. I'm lucky that I have something that makes me a pretty decent amount of money at my age. I've had some good jobs the past few months so I'm not quite as nervous about not working as much this summer. Since I'm not going to school in September, and I'll be working all over the world until the end of November, I'm trying to stay home most of the summer and spend it with Mac and Steffi.

After all, I've been waiting FOREVER to be able to officially date Mac, I turn 18 and graduate school in a few weeks, and Mac said the day I graduate is the day that he officially claims me as his girlfriend.

So my birthday is also graduation day, the best freaking present I could ever get, the only thing I really want is to finally be able to call Mac mine. Stone is having a big party for us at the club to celebrate our birthdays and our graduation. Steffi and I have been planning our outfits, and what we're going to do and say to the guys. We're both so excited we've been talking about almost nothing else.

One thing we have discussed is my weight. I've been working really hard, and part of my booking future jobs is having the look that clients want. Unfortunately my clients want to see a really lean and athletic body, which for the most part is totally contradictory.

I'm strong, I run, I play volleyball, swim, surf and do yoga. In the winter we snowboard and ski. One of the reasons I get so many Ath Leisure and sports clients is because I'm a good athlete. So these clients like that I have muscles and I'm not a high fashion stick. I can play the sports and do the activities that they want photographed, and I look believable and competent, and don't look like a total idiot while I'm doing it. It's not brain surgery.

But these same clients who like my athleticism, also want me to be really thin, so that my muscles are defined. Well that's all well and good except that to have muscles I have to be able to feed and nourish my body, but to be thin for the photographers I have to not eat as much as my body would like.

Not surprisingly Kat and Steffi caught onto this a long time ago, so when I am working hard they are both really watching my weight. I both hate and love that they care so much. It's hard trying to balance the two. It isn't like I want to be thinner, I actually hate it when I'm under 115, my best weight is 125. But when I'm over 110 the photographers and stylists complain, and pressure me to lose. I know that with my two biggest jobs in the fall I will have to be what they want, and the money that I earn from those two jobs, and the work I've been doing so far, will completely pay for my tuition and living expense all four years of school.

So I can't risk that my employers will be unhappy with my body and fire me, so unfortunately I have to play the diet game for about 5 more months and then I will be ready to quit the absolutely not glamorous and completely shitty world of modeling.

Next week I'm working with a client that Dylan's dad referred me to. It's a surfing and beach, bathing suit layout that will only last about 2 days, but it finishes a few days after graduation. So Mac and I will have my birthday, graduation, the party and then I have to work, but then I at least have several weeks off until I have a couple of small and local shoots.