Lizzie And Mac

Chapter 24

Sunshine, Stars, Rainbows, Glitter Men And God Damn Unicorn Miracles

Mac

Well, it's my not so little guys birthday today, he's 3 fucking years old.  We've got a rainbow and stars bounce house, some bubble guy that makes crazy huge bubble stuff, pizza and birthday cake, Lach is buzzing around the club like he's electrocuted he's so fuckin excited.  This is the first big birthday party we've done, with his friends and teachers from pre-school, some kids from the park, and any of the club family that want to be here.  It's my little mans birthday, and I want everyone that loves him to be here, and help him celebrate.

 He walks and fuckin runs, he talks, he can feed himself (sorta) goes to the bathroom by himself (kinda) and has the confidence of an NBA star (totally earned).  My boy is the shit, he's funny as fuck, smart and totally rocking the hell out of the toddler world.

His teachers at his day care love him, the other parents like him, and he's got a full on posse of mini people that he has fun with, school friends and park friends.  Thank fuck for the teachers, they're helping him with the manners (not my gift) and how to 'play nice'.  Like at the park, most of the time I think he's doing fine, but then some little asshole will start crying and complaining that Lach pushed them out of his way at the swing or slide, I'd say fuck it, he won, but the teachers tell him to wait his turn, that kind of shit, it's important, so yeah, thank fuck for teachers.

Sometimes we meet up with some other families at the park on a weekend, it's great, he runs himself all around till he's about to fall over tired, then we go home, wash him up, feed him dinner, then he's sound asleep for about 10 hours.  Coop or Jack will usually stop over on the way to the club, we'll have a couple of beers, then they go off to whatever they get off to.  I stay at home, sometimes I'll join them, but mostly, after a long week of work and the Lach Monster, I'm just happy to kick back and relax.

Usually I only hit the club when I'm sure that Lizzie will be there, Slate will let me know if she's planning to join them, then I'll get someone to watch Lach for me, and I'll head over.  For awhile I'd hire a teacher from his daycare to babysit, then a couple of the girls let me know they were interested in something more with me, but I'm not.  I told them nicely, at least I tried to be nice, and it must have worked out, because they are all still nice to me, no one is pissed at me, seems like I'm not a total asshole anymore.

Things with Lizzie are progressing, at a fucking glacial rate, but, we're definitley going in a better direction.  I share with her things that I worry about Lach, is he gonna be hyper like me, or struggle in some classes like I did.  Because I do worry about that shit, I wasn't a good student, and I sure as fuck struggled in some classes, Lizzies take is that I was bored, and didn't try hard enough, that's why I struggled.  I guess we'll see, I'm watching though, just in case he needs some kind of help, I'll make sure we have it right away.

We've also talked a lot about Savanna, how she never wanted to be a mother, and once she left the club, I only saw her once.  She stopped by to sign some papers, get some money, and then she said she was never coming back to 'Hell hole Ventura', fine by me, we don't need that toxic bitch in our lives.  Lizzie said you can't make someone want to be a mom, she should know.  Ronnie was a shit show of a parent, if Lizzie weren't so smart and strong, who knows what would have happened to her.

We talk a whole lot about us, what went wrong, the shitty way I treated her and acted, and how it all led to that fucked up night with Savanna.  Savanna sure as hell crossed every fucking line of decency when she fucked with me, I hated that it happened, especially when I lost Lizzie, but I got Lach out of it, and that was worth everything.

Lizzie also said that she didn't think either of us were ready to be with each other, I saw her as perfect, and I was gonna slide her into my life, make sure she fit, and everything worked out.  But like she said, I didn't really know her, I just knew part of her, and I was in no way ready to be someones partner.   I'm embarrassed to say, but it was really all about me, and how she'd make me happy, and everything was centered around me.  Steffi called me a 'full on I guy', because all I did was talk about me, myself and I.  Kind of a shitty person.