Does he remember?

Chapter Nineteen

She stopped in her tracks, the weight of his words holding her in place and not allowing her to move. No, this wasn't real. He just said that to make her stay. 

"W-what? What...are you...", she breathed out, his words putting pressure on the use of her voice.

"It's a lot, I know", he reassured. She caught something in his tone, though. She knew he was breaking.

Ladybug gripped to the railing, closing her eyes and steadying her breathing. "You can't...you can't just say something like that-".

"I'm not lying", Chat Noir cut her off. "I found out the night we were engaged. He knows who I am. He knows who you are."

"Stop", she rubbed her temples, her hands shaking. "Do I want to know?"

"You deserve to", he whispered, as if his emotions caused his voice to break and he could no longer speak. "After everything, all we deserve is to know."

"What does that mean?"

"Will you please just look at me?" he pleaded.

"I'm not falling for your tricks, not anymore. I'd just like you to know that I'm not the same person as I was before", she let her anger steam out as she gripped the railing even harder. "I was doing fine, really. And then you waltz back in like you didn't break my heart."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", he sighed. 

"Sorry doesn't fix everything. You didn't call, you didn't text. Nothing. I needed you to fight for me, but instead you fought with me. I loved you and you left me. You left without saying goodbye and I hate you for that. I knew I lost you because the world stopped for me that night. I regret you, I regret everything. Are you happy now? Does that make you happy? It hurts like a bitch, right? Hearing those words shot right back at you. You know, you said you'd always be there for me...so how did this happen? Why weren't you there?"

"Marinette", he softly called her attention. Her heart skipped a few beats, like a rock skipping on water. How she loved the way he always said her name. Never failed to smooth the rugged edges on her mind. She had no choice but to turn her head to face him, and her heart melted at the sight of him once again. It was like she was in love with him all over again. She couldn't do this.

"This isn't fair. Don't you dare do this to me. I can't go through this again", Ladybug's voice cracked with emotion pushing through, causing tears to prickle her eyes and well up.

"I'm not trying to do anything", he shook his head. "I need you to listen to me, please."

She sighed, putting all her emotions in a box and storing it elsewhere. She needed to know what happened, and she had to let him tell her. 

Again, he knew her and he knew what she just did, so he continued. "The night of our engagement, I went home and told my father I would no longer reside there anymore. I told him I wanted to make a life for myself and no longer wanted to live in his home. He, of course, did not accept that. Instead, he told me he knows everything. He decided to reveal to me that he was Monarch and created a sentimonster to spy on me. He saw that I transformed into Chat Noir, he saw me with you and heard me tell you I knew you were Ladybug. He knew everything, and I was defeated. He wanted our miraculouses, and I told him we can't give them up and why we couldn't. So he made me make a deal with him. I had to cut all ties off with everyone and Paris and pick up and leave for New York City. That's where I've been for 5 years. I agreed with my father that I would continue his business there and that I would have no contact with anyone here. He promised not to hurt you and to not attack Paris. So, he stopped. I came back here for you. I couldn't take it anymore", he shut his eyes, and covered his face with his hands.