Mine Diamonds (Shiori Novella x Koseki Bijou)

Chapter 1: Family Guys Funny Moments

Urethra, California, 1984

Shiori "Morbin" Novella was in her library, searching through the vast collections of books. Many of which have been chewed on, by Shiori, with bite marks and sloping wet paper still on them.

Works such as "The Industrial Revolution and Its Consequences on Humanity" or "Top 10 Funniest Minecraft Jokes and Puns" and who could forget "50 Shades of Gray"

She was getting her rocks off when she rocked off and got her rocks off and getting her rocks off looking at "My Little Sister Turned Me Into A Girl Episode #748" When suddenly a cunning child walks in.

"HOLY SHIT ARE YOU MY LITTLE SISTER?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?"

Shiori the League of Legends player suddenly sprung up, grabbing a hold of Bijou who is rather... short... she is short... and she has a high pitched voice... and a friendly childish demeanor...

Holy shit run Bijou.

"S-Shiori!??! W-what's up with you!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?"

"BED. NOW. CORRECTION."

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?"

Shiori then takes out her aluminum baseball bat and hits Bijou upside the head with it, probably knocking a few brain cells out. Shiori then enters MINECRAFT mode and takes out an ice pick, before trying to kill Bijou with it.

"Getttttt back here cunning child!!!!!!!!"

"Ahhhh!!!! What's gotten into you!!!!!" Bijou said running away from an unhinged and bijoulusted Shiori who can solo verses.

"I'm going to rock you getting my rocks hard my rocks my rockers I'm off my rockers."

"W-what?" Bijou stood still for a moment catching her breath.

"Bocchi the Cock!!!!!!!!!!! Get back here!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shiori is not stopping, it's probably all of the drugs in her system.

"HELP!!!! NERISSA!!!! FUWAWA!!!!! MOCOCO!!!! PLEASE ANYONE!!!!!!"

But at this time everyone was fighting the ender dragon in minecraft and weren't able to hear her. Finally Shiori catches up and holds poor Bijou up by the collar.

"I'm going to mine you so hard."

"S-Shiori- P-please don't!!!"

Shiori holds one of Bijou's arms up.

"Armpit."

"WHAT"

"Armpit." She is SALIVATING WHAT THE FUCK.

Suddenly Shiori takes out SCISSORS!?!?!?!??!

"I'm going to Brunoise you."

"What!??"

"Gay sex," Replies Shiori.

"It is in the title, is it not?"

But then MARKIPLIER shows up from nowhere.

"Wow Shiori, targeting a minor? You truly do put a stain on the LGBT community. You know we don't stand for thi-"

Markiplier is Unmarkipliered by Shiori

"AHGRGJRGJFGHJSGRJGRGHRHHHHAHHHHHHHHH" Markiplier screamed in pain.

"Anywho... where were we Bijou?"

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO MARKIPLI-"

Shiori shoved her entire arm into Bijou.

"Shut up woman. Did I ever ask you?"

Bijou made some choking and gagging noises of suffering.

"Yeah that's right, Andrew Tate taught me that. I'm a real sigmer male."

"Now lemme treat you bbg"

Suddenly PETER GRIFFIN SHOWS UP!!!!!!

"Shigari."

"Shiori."

"Shiori. You have to stop this."

Bijou's face is going purple now.

"No Peter, it's joever. I will have my Bijou seggs."

"Shinagi."

"Shiori."

"You have to stop this. It isn't right." Peter Griffin said before punching Shiori in the jaw.

"OW WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR???"

"Bijou... BELONGS TO ME!!!!!"

Shiori had somehow dislodged her hand finally out of Bijou's mouth allowing the poor rock to breathe.

"Oh god, oh god. There's no heaven, there's no hell. It's just darkness after death, oh god." Bijou said while catching her breath.

"Beter. What if we share?" Shiori said.

"Epic." Peter Griffin agreed as they both carried a screaming and crying Bijou away.