𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ❤︎

6, fool.

i sit in my bed. my eyes are watery and heavy as I stare down at the text I received on my phone. my body is slightly shaking and my voice is trembling whenever I try to speak to convince myself everything will be okay.

matt is with his brothers filming a car video and im left alone in our house. my phone brightness is high which makes my eyes water even more. I sniffle. i grip my phone tightly before throwing it across the room.

i get out of bed and I stare at myself in the long mirror. i pick at my thighs, they are so fat. i stare at my bony hands, does not eating make me uglier? my arms are covered in scars, mostly my wrists.

the text replies in my head.

"everything about you sucks. your whole body makes me sick. the way you talk, walk, run, smile, hug people, laugh, kiss and so much more about you makes you weird. you should just kill yourself before everyone leaves you. no-one gives a single shit about your feelings in the slightest. i hope that teacher at your school pervs on you all day."

just thinking about the text makes me wanna cry my eyes out. my breathing is shaky and tears are streaming down my cheeks. I start to hit myself, forming red marks in my skin which will soon become bruises. maybe what the person said is true, maybe no one gives a shit about me.

i pick up my phone and carefully remove my phone case. I take the blade out of my phone case and grasp it in my hand tightly as I put the phone case back on my phone.

im wearing black right shorts and a loose white tank top which makes my body look better. my stomach is exposed and I can't look into the mirror unless I suck my stomach in.

i sit down on my bedroom floor and remove my pants. im now in underwear and a tank top. i suddenly get the thought to not cut, but burn instead. i put my blade back into my phonecase and reach under the bed to grab my lighter.

my eyes close as I turn on the lighter and put it near my inner thigh. i can feel my thigh start to burn and I can feel a mark being made. once I finish I look down and notice a red mark, a long red mark. i pull up my shorts and stand back up, I feel uneven.

atleast I hurt myself, like I deserve. i wipe my eyes and blow my nose with a tissue.why can't I be perfect like iris, my pretty bestfriend.

I hear a car pull up and thoughts rase through my head. i put on black halloween pajama pants with pumpkins on them on and got onto bed. I placed my phone on the bedside table and tried to act normal.

"hello?" matt says in a tired voice as he opens the bedroom door. "hi." i answer back in a 'trying to be normal' voice. Matt sits down on the bed and faces me. "you look kinda rough, is everything alright?" matt puts his hand on my arm.

my eyes widen, he noticed. "y-yeah, everything is fine, everything is alright. im just abit tired and sick, that's all." i reply to matt in a nervous tone.

matt looks away before getting up and heading over to the dresser to change into pajamas. he grabs a plain black shirt from the shirt drawer and black halloween pajama pants with skeletons on them, to match.

he starts to take off his shirt and put on his other one when he notices my red eyes. "julia, you don't seem fine." he says, putting on his black shirt. my thoughts start to break through. i overthink. matt removes his pants and puts on his black halloween pajama pants with skeletons on them.

I sit up in our bed and sigh. matt walks over and vets into bed with me. he signals me to lie down and we can be face to face. i lay down and pull the blanket over my shoulders so I'm nice and warm. "can you please me honest?" matt says in a concerned voice.

"uhh, about what?" i try to play it off. "i seen your red eyes and the lighter on the floor. have you been smoking again?" Matt asks, worried for her safety and health. "n-no I haven't. my eyes are red because I've been crying, that's all. and i had to move the lighter out of a place to try find something." she covers her tracks.

matt sighs and gives me a kiss on the forehead. "honey, why were you crying?" he says in a soft voice as she moves closer to me so our bodies are touching and I feel his warmth. "i just got a nasty text from someone, that's all." she answers in a relaxed voice.

matts eyebrows furrow and he looks at me seriously. "Julia, who sent the message. what did the message say?" matt snuggles into julias side to try comfort her. "i will show you in the morning, but for now. I can tell you, the text made me feel like a fool." i say in a sad voice.

matt wraps his arms around me and closes his eyes. "dont worry about a stupid text, it means nothing. whoever sent that message is probably jealous of all your beauty and all the amazing things about you." matt kisses her nose as i close my eyes.

"yeah, probably." I sigh again before speaking again. "im going to sleep, now matt. I uhm- goodnight." i actually wanted to say the first 'i love you' but I didn't have the courage.

matt listens and starts to fall asleep. i continue to keep my eyes closed and i yawn as I snuggle into matts side to get warm. i love the way he is so gentle and caring.

authours note:
I got my phone back..
(kinda)
I hope yous enjoyed this chapterr
please leave feedback or ideas cause I have no idea sometimes!!
byeeeeee