𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ❤︎

15,panic attack

continuing from the last imagine chapter!

i look at chris and nick. "what's happening?" i mouth to them. "panic attack." nick mouths back. i know how to treat panic attacks since i used to get them all the time. i pull his face out of my shoulder and wipe away his tears.

my eyes begin to water, just thinking about matt crying and having a panic attack. "listen, take deep breaths with me." i say to matt. "in for four, out for four." i say slowly as i take deep breaths with him. matt holds my hand and continues to do this with me for about five minutes before he feels better.

"i cant believe you have been struggling with those things and you didn't tell me, i had to find out myself." his voice is super soft. matt gives chris and nick the look, go wait in the car, i need to spend time with her alone.

they both get up and go wait in the car outside. matt takes me upstairs to my room, where i didn't want to show him. he brings me over to my bed and puts me in his favourite position. my back is against the headboard and my legs are spread a little so matt can crawl his way in-between them and lay his head on my stomach.

when he is comfortable on me, he puts his hands behind my back and begins to move his hands up and down. he smiles in a softly manner. "you feel so nice." he mumbles with his eyes closed. i let him continue to lay there until i feel his body fall loose. he fell asleep.

his hands are right above my butt and his head has moved down to my lap. his legs are straight. he continues to sleep there for who knows how long.

TIMESKIP, 6:12PM:

ive called chris and nick to let them know that matt will be home after dinner time. matt decided to spend dinner at my house tonight. he even wanted to make the dinner himself.

im still in my room as he cooks downstairs. i curl up in a fetal position and my thoughts remain around cutting and smoking. dont do it, don't do it. i think to myself, trying to make the thoughts go away.

i then look under my bed and see the box. i hesitate grabbing it, putting my hand under my bed but then bringing it back out multiple times. until gave in. i grab the box and sit up on my bed. i slowly open the box and grab out one blade.

i shove the box back under my bed and look at the blade. two thoughts later and my pants are down, with a blade really close to my right thigh. two seconds later cuts are being made. at first i just made two, then it was four, six, eight. i couldn't stop, until i heard matt's sweet voice from outside the bathroom door.

"dinners ready, are you alright?" matt asks politely. "yeah, im good. I'll be out in a moment." i say in a happy tone, fake. i stand up and pull up my pants. i flush the toilet to act like i was using it. i then wash my hands.

i leave the bathroom. matt wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me. "i love you." he whispers into my ear. "i love you too." i reply. matt leaves for a minute to go grab the dinner from downstairs and bring it upstairs since he knew something was up.

i sit down on the floor of my room and pull forward some small tables that i can put the plates on. matt comes back into her bedroom. he sits down and puts the plates down."i hope you like it." matt says softly.

i take a bite if the food and it's really good. "your a great cook, matt." i say. matt blushes a little before wrapping his arm around me. "thank you." he replies in a quiet tone as he gets flustered.

after a while of eating i get tired, i know it's only 6pm but i feel exausghted. "matt, im gonna drop you home now." i say tiredly.

"oh, julia. i really don't wanna go home right now, can i please stay?" matt asks in a worried tone, he doesn't want to leave her.

authors note
the next imagine will be a sleepover chapter continued from this!