Golden Gate

People You Know to People You Don't

The next morning I checked the mail and it was my brother Aiden. He was coming back from college. Which was great I loved my brother, but I wasn't ready for him to know I had a boyfriend yet and this time my instinct DID kick in and it did the worst thing ever.

I froze Justin out. I froze out, my first kiss, my comfort, my safe place.

But I had a reason. I've always had this idea of myself. I was tough. I put myself first. I would never put a guy before my other priorities. I was confident I knew what I was worth and I couldn't let a guy destroy that. But I wasn't the type to freeze people. Unless I got to close. Unless I feel too attached to them. Or I felt the potential of getting hurt.

So yes I froze him out. Yes, it might have hurt him. But I couldn't let it hurt me, as selfish as that sounds.

I closed my locker and of course he was there.'We have been here before." he laughed and then tried to kiss me. But I walked away. he came after me and said "Hailey is everything ok?". I looked down. I felt myself tearing up. "I don't think this is working out." I didn't turn back once, but Justin being Justin, shouted after me "So that's it? Those two months meant nothing to you? Because they did to me! And you leaving without a fucking explanation doesn't really seem fair." The words that came out of my mouth were BAD. I  mean I regretted the shit out of them.

So i looked at him this time, wiped away my tears, and said "I have priorities.". 

It broke my heart. Seeing him like that. He just stood there this time he went from happy to sad in like one switch.

The next few weeks whenever I saw him, I ignored him, I didn't try to look at him but when I did it made me sad. He was by himself. It was like he wanted to be alone. That wasn't Justin. Not the one I knew. But hell what would I know?

It wasn't even my place to know him anymore.