Bad Habits

chapter five

I went to the gym early the next morning, because I didn't go the day before. It was about 5:00 am and Elaine was still fast asleep. I scanned my card and opened the door. I went over to the ropes until I saw no other than Ethan, from two days before.

"Well if it isn't Tara!" He exclaimed.

"Is that Ethan I see?" I joked, wiping sweat off of my forehead.

"In the flesh." He put his hands out, motioning toward himself.

"What are you doing up so early?" I interrogated

"I could ask the same."

"I didn't work out yesterday and I'm trying to avoid a 1/4 life crisis."

"What does that have to do with anything?" He questioned.

"I don't think i've ever missed more than one day in a row." I told him.

"Ah, I see. I don't think that's healthy." He nudged me playfully.

"And you would like me to do what about that?"

"Consider it."

"Okay... considering... considering... okay it's considered."

"And the verdict is?"

"Never gonna happen." I smirked.

"Well I tried. While i'm trying things, there's a party tonight and i was wondering if you wanted to come with me?"

"He makes a move!" I joked in a sports commentary voice. "Gimme your phone. I'll add my number" He handed me his phone and I typed in my phone number before handing it back.

"Text me your dorm number, I'll be there at 8?" He looked at me waiting for approval.

"See you then." I said, turning back to continue my workout.

When I returned to my dorm a little later, I decided I should eat something before I got more nauseous. I walked over to our fridge and grabbed out a banana and a cup of yogurt and made my way to my bed. I got out my airpods and phone to text Lucy.

hey lulu

for the love of beyoncé it's 3 in the morning

no it's 7??

time zones exist

oops

even if they didn't, it's still 7 am

i've been up for 2 hours

WHY?!

no pain no gain

I am going to bed goodnight.

ugh fine

I threw down my phone, bored out of my mind. I decided I needed to wake Elaine up, but I wasn't sure how. I grabbed her phone carefully and set an alarm to go off in 2 minutes. When it went off, I pretended not to hear it because I had headphones in.

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

"UGHHHH TARA I SWEAR IF YOU SET MY ALARM!" She glared at me

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said with a poker face. Holding back my laugh. She rolled her eyes and threw her duvet cover off, shivering at the cold air.

"Have you eaten?"

"Yeah"

"Ugh i'm starving I hate you."

"I'll make a mental note that you get hangry in the mornings." I said patting her back. She stood there, trying to fully wake up before going to her closet and changing into a T shirt and Nike shorts. It's still pretty hot in Michigan at the end of august.

"What time is orientation tomorrow ?" She asked while combing her brush through her tangled hair.

"Nine. Hey is there a party tonight?" I asked casually.

"How would I know? You're the only person I've talked to." She chuckled. "Why? Do you wanna go?" She asked glancing over at me.

"Well Ethan from down the hall asked me to come, and I was wondering if you were gonna go."

"If it's a party I'm there." She winked.

"Okay good. I was scared I'd have to go alone."

Ethan picked me up at 9, just like he said he would. He had a black jeep that wasn't clean, but also not dirty. I wore a white tank top and Black denim shorts. He was wearing a Black t-shirt with casual pants. He smelled good, really good. Like vanilla and cedar wood. I loved when guys wore vanilla cologne. We got to the party where he greeted a bunch of his friends. He introduced me to them, but none of them seemed to care I was there.

"You drink?" He asked walking over to the kitchen.

"No that would defeat the entire purpose of never missing a workout." I giggled

"True!" he shrugged. He just drank a water because he was driving. I was sitting on the kitchen table with him stood in front of me when he looked into my eyes. "Having fun?" He asked.

"Yeah!" I smiled. We were talking really loud, trying to yell over the blaring music.

He leaned in closer to my ear, and said, "Wanna get out of here?" I looked into his eyes for a minute until I agreed. We went out to his car and drove to the dorm parking lot. He leaned over and kissed me, growing more passionate by the second. As I was sitting there, kissing the boy I genuinely liked, all I could think about was Miles and how I broke his heart. I felt like I didn't deserve this.

"Ethan I- I- can't do this." I said as pulling away from him.

"Oh no Tara we don't have to actually do anything!" He said looking concerned.

"No I mean us. You're great and I really like you but we can't be together." I felt horrible. "I'm so sorry." I said climbing out of his jeep. I walked back up to my dorm and flopped onto my bed. I didn't bother to take off my makeup or change out of my clothes. I just stared at the ceiling until my eyes closed.

a/n: Reading this back i'm realizing I lowkey sound british? Sorry about that the Tom Holland interviews are rubbing off on me

written: September 6th 2023
published: September 21 2023