without you - max verstappen x charles leclerc

-He knows-

Charles leclerc

I wake up from a noise. I open my eyes and realize we're I am. I'm still in my drivers room, covered in blood and cuts. But the blood has already dried up. How long have I been laying here?

But then I realize that someone is here. In the other room.
-"Charles?"
Shit Carlos. He can't see me like this. I try to stand up but I can't. I crawl to the door and lock it before Carlos can come in.
-"mate are you here?"
-"yes I'm here in the bathroom"
-"Charles where were you we've been searching for you for almost 2 hours!"
2 hours ?!?! Shit. This long I have been laying here. Fuck.

-"yeah sorry mate I was really angry and disappointed so I went for a walk"
-"it's okay I get it. But mate are you okay?"
-"yeah I'm okay"
-"what are you doing in their then"
-" ehm... euhmmm- I- I'm showering. Yes I was about to shower"
-"okay be careful"
-"I will. You too"

I heard the door closing again. Pfff. That was close.

I looked around me. It was a mess. I started to clean everything. Damn I really fucked up now. I looked at the time. It was almost 6Pm. Shit I have to go. I have a view fan meetings and interviews because it's the Italian Grand Prix. 

I put on a classy ferrari shirt and a normal pair of shorts. As I walked trough the paddock i could definitely feel the fresh cuts burning in my skin. It hurts like hell. But I have to keep going like nothing is happening right now. The first meetings and interviews went wel. I signed a lot of stuff and took pictures. The interviewers luckily just asked about Ferrari, Italy and the crash. Till one of the last questions were asked.

-"what happened after the crash? We saw that you hade a lot of pain and even Verstappen looked worried. So what happend?"
Shit.
I couldn't say anything I was like frozen.
-"I mean you had a lot of pain. But max hadn't is it because max can take it better and you are just weak then?"
No I can't. Not now. My breathing got faster again. I still couldn't say a word. I feel myself tearing up again and my pain on my stomach and chest didn't really help either.

I needed to go now. I walked away really fast. I don't know how long I can hold it back. I went to the first sport I knew. Between the Red Bull and the Ferrari garage. There is nobody.

I finally got to the spot and broke down. Tears falling down my cheeks and pure panic. Why can't I just be enough' I say desperate in between sobs
-"you are for me" a voice suddenly spoke. I looked to the side and there was he again. Max. Fuck

-"max go away"
-"no I'm not gonna leave you!" He said with confidence. He walked towards me and stood right in front of me. Because of the small space in between the garages our bodies are really close.
I could almost feel his breath on my face. I look deep into his eyes. Gosh these beautiful eyes. Charles no! Don't you dare. I was so scared of my thoughts that started crying even harder.

-"hey hey, everything is gonna be fine" the man said and he grabbed my arms so I needed to look at him.
-"just follow my breathing" he grabbed my hand and putted it on his chest so I could easily follow his breathing and his heart beat.

This is the same as that night in the Netherlands. This is not gonna happen again. I swear.

I pushed him away and I started running towards my drivers room.
-"come back"max yelled and started running after me. He's not gonna get me again. This happened one time and it's not gonna happen another.

I ran as hard as I could to my drivers room. I finally reached it and wanted to close the door but someone put a foot between it. max. Again. He pushed the door open and closed it behind him. He locked the door and looked at me again.

-"max can you just go away?! I wanna be alone" I almost screamed.
-"no I'm not gonna leave you alone when you are obviously not okay and need help!"
I stayed silent.
-"that night in the Netherlands, I told you that I'm always gonna help you no matter what and that you can call me or come to me. I promised it. And I'm gonna keep my promises."

And again I stayed silent. Maybe he is right, maybe I do need help... I can't do this anymore. I walked up to him and hugged him. I could feel that he was surprised by my action but he quickly hugged me back. We stayed like this for a will and I had started crying again.

-"it's gonna be okay...I'm here for you"
He rubbed my back and didn't let go of me. After a few more moments, I let go of him and sit down on the couch. He sits next to me.
-"so what happened?" He asked really carefully.
-"it's just everything... racing, Ferrari and I just found out my mother is in the hospital because of heart problems... the doctors say that there is a big chance that she's not gonna make it." I had cried so much that I couldn't even anymore.

Max hugged me immediately and I melted into the touch of the older man. God he smells good. Charles not again. What is wrong with you. You act like your gay. But I'm not. I'm straight...right? Fuck I don't know what is wrong with me. After some minutes we separated and he excused himself to the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and started to scroll trough Instagram.

Max Verstappen

Damn he's going trough so much right now. I can't imagine how it feels. We hugged a long time and after we separated I excused myself to the bathroom. I entered the bathroom and my eyes immediately got attracted by a few red drops on the ground.

I got on my knees to see what it is. Is it blood? Why would there been blood in the floor? As far as I could see he hadn't had any wounds. Wait... in that club he had a shirt covered in blood, then during the crash he had a lot of pain on his chest and stomach. He didn't wanted me to see it.

I followed the blood line and came out to the trashcan. I opened it and what I saw shocked me...

There was toilet paper and other stuf completely cover in blood. What had happened to him that he bleeds this much. As I wanted to close the van something silver was catching my eyes again. What is it? I thought. As I looked closer I immediately knew what it was...

A blade...