No Going Back: A Marina Story

5: That Night

Flashback start and end at the asterisks (***)

Carina sat frozen. Of course she wanted Maya to wake up, but she wasn't ready. She didn't know what she would say, if the anger that melted away in her panic would rise up again.

Maya groaned again. Then slowly started to blink, and after a few seconds her eyes shot open in panic. She gagged and reached for the tube in her throat, going to pull it out.

"No Maya," Carina said, standing up and grabbing Mayas hands. "You're okay. Just breathe, bene?" Carina spoke calmly despite her conflicting emotions.

Just then Dr. Shepherd walked in, only coming to check on Maya. "Oh! Perfect timing!" she said cheerily, then stepped out briefly and came back in with an extubation cart.

"Okay Maya, this is going to uncomfortable but I need you to be still" Amelia spoke firmly, and Maya nodded. She then began to pull the tube from Maya's throat, causing her to gag & shed some involuntarily tears.

Just then Carina had let go of Maya's hands and took a step back from the bed, looking down at the floor. Her anger slowly rising again. But before Carina could say anything to Maya, Amelia began to speak.

"Maya, do you remember what happened?"

Maya closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck, "I- I remember running.. I don't know, everything goes blank after that" She said, getting frustrated with her lack of memory and sore throat.

"Yeah, that's normal. Well you collapsed on your run, Andy had to bring you in. When you fell you hit your head real hard and it caused a brain bleed, but that's all patched up now," Amelia spoke.

"Why did I collapse?" Maya asked, she sounded almost irritated.

"You had fluid around your heart, Dr. Altman and Dr. Bailey are still trying to figure out why, but you've got the best working on your case, Maya"

Maya nodded slowly, brain and heart surgery? She knew she wouldn't be leaving here soon. She'd have to sit in awkwardness with Carina for God knows how long.. Although she didn't remember the fall, she remembered what happened before she left for a run. She cheated on her wife, and got caught. Maya's face fell at the thought of what Carina would say to her once they were alone. She wasn't scared of her wife, but she was devastated, and angry with herself.

Amelia glanced over at Carina and saw the far away look on her face, then glanced back at Maya and saw the same expression.

"I'll let you both rest.. If you need me, page me" Amelia said, then she left the room swiftly. Leaving the wives alone.

"Can we talk?" Maya asked timidly.

Carina sat back down in the chair next to Maya's bed, still staring at the floor. "Please, I want to know everything, Maya"

Maya took a deep breath, she had to be honest with Carina. Whether her marriage would survive this or not, she knew she had to be honest.

"Umm- it was a month ago after we lost those kids in the house fire downtown.."

Carina hummed in remembrance.

"I was just so angry, I felt guilty too. You- you bring babies into this world and I just let some die. I didn't deserve to come home to you, to lay in out bed with you. I couldn't listen to you speak about the joy of your job when i was drowning in the sorrow of mine "

"Maya-" Carina felt bad for Maya, she didn't know she felt this way.

"It doesn't excuse what I did.. I know. But then I ended up at Joes, next thing I knew I was talking to this girl. I was too drunk to have even been out, but I just wanted to feel something better than the shame and guilt.."

***

Maya sat at the bar at Joes, on her fourth? No. Fifth drink, When a girl approached her. Younger, she had Caramel skin and Curly hair pulled back into a puff.. She kinda looked like Vic? She was also slim, in blue mom jeans and a very cropped white top, it exposed all of her stomach and her cleavage.

"Hey, drinking alone?" She spoke.

"Uh. I guess.. yeah" Maya responded.

"You're really pretty, what's your name?" The girl spoke as she placed her left hand on Maya's thigh and extended her right hand for the blonde to shake.

Maya hesitated for a second, then shook the girls hand, making no effort to remove the grip she had on her thigh. "Maya, yours?"

"Leah" she smiled.

They made small talk, Leah's had creeping up Maya's leg, getting closer and closer to her centre over her jeans. They flirted and laughed for what felt like hours and for a moment Maya forgot about the pain she was feeling. So (like an idiot) she decided to lean into that feeling.

"Wanna come back to mine?" Leah asked after leaning in close to Maya's ear and rubbing her finger tips over her jean clad centre.

Maya gulped, to drink to even form a coherent thought, but what she did know was that she was aroused. And in that moment, that's all that mattered.

"Yeah.. let's go" Maya said confidently, grabbing Leah's wrist and pulling her out to her truck.

As soon as they got to the rear driver's side door Maya spun Leah around and pinned her to the side of the car, both hands on her waist. Pulling her into a passionate kiss, Maya moved her knee to slot between Leah's legs, rubbing her thigh on Leah's centre. The brunette moaned into Maya's mouth in response.

"I could fuck you right here, you're so sexy" Maya breathed once she pulled back for air.

"Please do."

Then Maya pulled Leah back from the door so she could open it, then pushed her to lay on her back across the rear seats of the car. She then stepped in, awkwardly shut the door behind her and then climbed on top of Leah.

***

Carina was heartbroken, the pain was too much to bare. Maya gave her what she asked for, everything, and that was so painful.

"I'm so sorry" Maya whispered, breaking Carina out of her thoughts.

"Has it happened again? have you- have you slept with her again"

"No! no. I have her number.. I don't even remember taking it, but that's it,"

"She said she loved you Maya. How?"

"I don't know," Maya pleaded, she was desperate for her wife to believe her. "I swear I don't have any feelings towards her. Carina please, you have to believe me" She was now reaching her hand out for Carina.

Carina didn't budge, though her heart broke at the sight of Maya in this hospital bed, she couldn't bring herself to touch her.

"I don't know what to do Maya, how to move forward. If we even move forward" Carina spoke, wiping away a silent tear.

"Are you leaving me?"

*****************
Authors notes: Okay tell me what you think!

Anything you want to see in future chapters? leave a comment or message me🫶🏾.

Also i'm moving to university in 5 days, so the next few chapters might come slowly but i'll be back to regular updates soon xx