One Look

Chaos

My eyes were closed until I heard the principal speak and we had to stand up to sing our school's anthem. The girls beside me keep giggling and laughing towards my direction. I try to ignore it while I feel tears well up in my eyes. Heather hooks her arm with mine and I lean on her shoulder as we continue singing.

After that, things go as usual with the principal welcoming us and sport captains speaking and asking people to join their sport.

Then it was time for the tennis captain to speak and Dre appeared on stage. I expected to feel something but after seeing him for the first time after our breakup but I felt nothing except anxiety when a few people turned around to look at me when he started speaking.

He looked okay, as always. His mates were cheering him on as he spoke and the girls were swooning over him. And for the first time ever, I didn't have to pretend it bothered me. I avoided eye contact and instead closed my eyes.

After assembly it was time to go to class. I was scared of facing the crowd which is a classroom filled with eleven people. Diora is walking slightly in front of me. I barely hear her speak because I muted all the voices around me. I laugh at whatever she said, not looking at her but instead looking straight ahead. As we near the classroom, I start feeling a pit in my stomach. I've never felt this way before, I've always been able to fake my confidence. But regardless of what I feel, I put a smile on my face as we enter the door.

Almost everyone in the class goes silent and look toward my direction as they look at me. I ignore them and tug at Diora's arm, pointing at two empty seats by the window.

"We should go sit there, I love window seats" I say smiling at her.

She smiles back "I know you do" she says.

We sit down with me being behind her because her eyesight is bad. She wears contact lenses although I've always loved her in glasses. She disagrees though and believes that she look like a dork. But she's my dork and I love her.

I've actually never loved anyone like I've loved her. Not even my parents, but they weren't really parents to me anyways.

After sitting down, Diora turns to me and asks "Want to come over to my house to watch a movie?"

I smile, I've never said no to her, even if I had a lot of work to do. "How can I say no, when you look so cute asking" I say laughing.

I hear someone scoff when I say that. I look up and see Dre's friend, Noah. Noah never really liked me. He also believed that I was with Dre for the money.

He's looking right at me and in front of him sits Dre, looking straight forward. I don't say anything, instead I look away and smile at Diora, "what do you wanna watch this time? It has to be something you haven't watched" I say scrunching my face.

She laughs "yes, yes, I know that all I do is watch movies but I actually haven't watched bullet train"

I smile "me neither, it's a date"

She blushes and I laugh but my laugh gets cut off by Noah saying "are you serious?" Loud enough for the whole class to hear. I don't look at him, instead I take out my school iPad for note taking and my textbook.

The first period is maths, I actually love maths. It's so simple, there's always a solution. But I don't feel the excitement that I used to because I feel as though the room is closing in on me. I don't even feel the teacher walking in and only notice when she starts the lesson.

I haven't seen this teacher before, he seems to be new. He seems too young to be a teacher. But the girls seem to love it.

I'm not really paying attention, as I stare at my empty notes. That's when I suddenly feel a pair of eyes on me. I look up expecting it to be one of the students but instead it's the teacher. I look behind him and realise that he's written his name on the board, Mr. Bianchi. I avoid eye contact, thinking he's about to call on me to answer a question but he doesn't. Instead he goes on to explain the next question in the textbook.

I see Diora turn around and look at me for a brief moment and I smile at her. I'm starting to feel better, all I need to do is focus on keeping my scholarship and on Diora and this school year will go by fast.

It's finally time for lunch, and we head to the cafeteria. I usually don't eat much at the cafeteria and instead bring packed lunches from home but my mom was able to get credit in my student account for lunches. I walk hand in hand with Diora, as we head to the cafeteria hall. When we arrive, I look at my options and decide on some Alfredo pasta and a cupcake.

It's been a while since I've eaten real food. All we eat at my place is frozen pizza or takeout.

We look for an open spot in the cafeteria but it seems as though everyone has a designated table they sit at. Diora and I would usually sit at Dre's table with all the other rich kids.  Diora would fit in easily, her parents are very important people in the church which makes her one of the richest people in my grade with me being the poorest of course.

"Should we go sit by the garden?" I ask her. She smiles warmly "yeah of course". We go through the cafeteria and out the doors into the garden. I can feel a pair of eyes looking at me but I don't meet their gaze.

We decide to sit on the floor under a big Oak tree. We begin chatting and eating, and I start feeling better. I feel as though things will be okay after a while and for the first time in a while I give a genuine smile.

That's until I feel someone standing over me, Freda. She's looking down at us with her hands on her hips.

"Were you using my best friend for his money knowing that you liked girls the whole time?"