One Look

Freda

I met Dre in 5th grade. He was one of the prettiest guys I've ever seen. He had the brightest smile that felt like could outshine the sun. He even had dimples to compliment that smile.

I was new to the school, having moved from a different town after my parents got divorced. I was really nervous, everyone had their own friendship groups already and I was really bad at making friends, although I did have some friends back at my old school. But this time it was different, I say alone at lunch and barely talked to anyone. I used to get amazing grades because I had no distractions. That was until one day, I was reading a book and Dre approached. He smiled and said something. I couldn't pay attention to what he was saying because I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he was really talking to me.

"I'm sorry?" I ask after what felt like hours just staring at him. He laughs and repeats himself "I really love the book you're reading, it's one of my favourite series"

I blush, "I just started it but it is really good so far" I say every word coming out fast.

He squints his eyes and looks at me "Freda right?" He asks. I felt as though my heart might explode out of my chest. "Yes, Dre right?" I felt like an idiot asking him that. Everyone knew who he was. "Yup that's me, Dre" he smiles.

Ever since that day, I was in love. We eventually got closer and I would dream about us getting old together every night. The problem was that he treated me as his friend. That was okay with me because that meant I still had a chance but everything shattered when he referred to me as his best friend. I felt like I had been betrayed, as though he wasn't sticking to the script I made in my head on purpose. I pretended that it didn't bother me because I enjoyed being his friend and I still didn't lose hope. I just waited and hoped that he would notice me one day.

I even started changing the way I looked. I changed my hair, started wearing makeup, wore more girly clothes but nothing ever changed, I never got his attention instead I got the attention of other men. He actually got mad when someone made a move on me because he said I was like a the sister he never had.

Although he did have a sister once, an older one, five years older but when he was 8, she passed away from cancer. He said that I looked just like her and that, that brought him comfort. When he told me that I felt like I hit a brick wall. I decided that day that I would give up, that it's for the best. Him and I were never meant to be.

Slowly I started seeing him as a brother too. I didn't even feel hurt when he started dating this girl, Heather. She was beautiful, the opposite of me. Her brown skin contrasted my pale skin. Her brown eyes made my blue eyes look dull. Her long hair made mine feel 10 inches shorter. She had Dre under her spell but to me it felt like she never truly loved him. It was something I fully believed but Dre was happy and that's all I could wish for him.

Everything was going fine until the 7th grade when Dre said he wanted to talk to me. He wasn't smiling like he always was instead he looked sad.

"Heather broke up with me" he said. I felt shocked but I felt ashamed because I felt a quick pang of happiness.

"What why?" I say sounding shocked and concerned.

"She says I'm spending too much time with you. That she feels as though I treat you more like a girlfriend. I think we should stop spending so much time together. She's right I need to prioritise our relationship"

There it was the second time I felt betrayed by him. I felt tears forming in my eyes. Trying to fight them back. "Are you serious?" I ask, trying not to sound as devastated as I was.

"Yes, you understand right?" He pleads.

No. No I did not.