No Longer.

5. Loud

Day #9

Noah -

Katie is doing horrible. We were told about what happened. We decided to just give her space. Gwen and Bridgette offered to stay just outside the cabin, in case something happens or incase Katie wants to talk. Tyler isnt doing to well either. He isnt talking. He just sits and stares. He has Lindsay's headband/bandana thing tied around his wrist.

Cody has been by my side the whole day. I decide to go sit by a tree not to far away from camp. It's getting to overwhelming, the sun is to bright, it's too hot, everyone's either to loud or too quiet. I hate it. I just want to be alone, but Cody follows me.

Whilst walking, I start hitting my left leg and counting to 4 over and over. Cody looks at me strangely. I don't want him to think weird of me. I'm not weird. I'm just, different? I dont know.

"You okay, Noah?" Cody asks

I don't even hear him, I'm too in my own head to hear anything, everything's ringing. My ears hurt, my eyes hurt, my head hurts. My clothes feel weird on my skin, the sun makes my hair cling to my face, its gross. I hate water, I hate being wet. That's why I never swim, why I never do anything that would make me sweat. I hate how water feels on my skin. I start shaking my hands again, I like stimming. Usually it helps me calm down. I do it whenever though.

Everything feels wrong, I hate it.

Cody -

I notice Noah didnt pay attention to anything I just said, instead he turns around next to a tree I've seen him sitting at a few times. He's standing on his tip-toes whilst shaking his hands. I dont know what he's doing.

"Noah," I walk up to him. I notice he may be getting overwhelmed, or...what's the word...overstimulated! Thats it!

"Noah!" I say, not too loud, but enough to get my point across. "Breathe." I take his hands in mine. This feels weird since its happening during a massacre but we cant do anything if Noah is out of commission. Hes really smart. It's not like I'm using him! I would never do that! I just mean, we need him, y'know. I need him.

He starts calming down. He stays silent. I do the same. He sits and I follow suit. We sit in a comfortable silence for a little while, him sitting in front of me, me sitting in front of him. We aren't staring at each other but we both sneak small glances. I really like Noah, not only is he smart but he's also quite a calming person. I feel like he's not really a sarcastic douche, I think he's a nice guy, hopefully he thinks the same.

I notice he starts shaking his hands again, like y'know the movement you make whe you do 'jazz hands', that's what I mean.

"You know," I start, "when we get outta here, which we will by the way. We should totally hang out!" I finish. He isnt looking at me, but I know he heard me because he looks as if he's thinking.

Noah's POV (again)

"...We should totally hang out!" Cody says. I think about what he said before that, 'when we get outta here'. We aren't getting out of here, let's be honest. We are going to die. I cant say that though. I need to be "positive".

Oh shit

Hes looking at me. What did he ask? Oh. We should hang out. Does that count as a date? What even is a date, I've never really thought about it. What do you do, are you supposed to be romantic or friendly? That's not even what he asked.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. We can hang out." I reply, I dont know if I was to quiet or what because he looks at me for a while afterwards.

"Awesome!" He says, flashing a smile, I can see his gap tooth. I wonder if something caused it or if it just grew in that way? Eh, not my business.

"Do you want to go back? I'm scared that they're worrying where we are." He asks. I don't want to go back, theres too much going on, too many emotions that I don't want to deal with.

I just shake my head.
"Okay, we can sit here then." He says, smiling again, although this time he doesn't include his teeth.

I like this. I like Cody. A lot.

YO. IM BACK. I'm actually happy with this one, I totally didn't base Noah off of myself. It might be a bit slow with the updates because I am going to the doctors about my joints so wish me luck dudes and dudettes (and the non binary's, love yall.)

I hope you enjoyed!!