Solace.

Chapter 32

"So, now?" Meera asked as she finsihed her dinner. While Agastya did it beforehand.

"So, now the main point. " he started.

"Oh, so you take me here for another things. This, this all was just the prep for coming to the point. Isn't it?" She asked sarcasticly and he nodded with a little smile.

"Wait, before you start I wanna ask something." She said

"What?" He asked.

"When you're gonna marry?" She asked and his faced turned out be amusing one.

"What?"

"When you're going to marry? Vivian Bhai is married,kavya too got married, now it's your turn?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

"I am not gonna marry. I've already told you!"He said.

"It means, you haven't fallen for anyone?" She asked and he shook his head in a no.

"Why are talking over these?" He asked.

"Just, casual questions you know.", she said

" No, im not ready for it. But about love, I can't say. " He said, but this time not breaking the eye contact.

"You love someone? Why you didn't tell me? How can you hide this thing from me Agastya?" She asked, again and again causing to break the moment that was developing between them.

"You're such a spoiler. And no I don't love anyone right now. And move on from this topic. Because I don't know anything." Agastya said. He himself wasn't sure that whether he even feels something for Meera or it's just mere attraction. And what after telling her, if he backout. Because the shell he made around him, of not getting into any relation was so strong that might lead him to backout from his commitment.

"It's very complicated for me. I don't kn-" he was saying when she interrupted.

"Enough of this. I know it's hell complicated. And i was contemplating over this fact to not tell you, and discuss these things for you but I want a clarity. I am an old school. I love those hidden types of love antics in which neither the guy has said anything nor the girl. But sometimes to be blunt is best. And specially after my first experience I want or need a clarity . I can't carry on assumptions. And there's a heaviness inside my chest, when I'm coming face to face within my own self.  And I can't deal with it anymore. Many times, we fear. We fear to discuss things because it might lead to ruin the relationship between two individuals but living with reality is good, than living in the bubble. Because when reality rejects, you'll feel sad, but when bublle get burst you'll be dejected, broken. "She said in one breadth casuing Agastya to looked at her and to listen her intently. And somewhere he was getting where she's leading this talk to.

"I guess im in need of that too." He replied and looked at her who was already looking at him.

Both were standing in the balcony of the building, where they came for dinner. It has a open lawn. Cool winds were blowing giving a indication that it's going to be rain soon. Standing with their backs, and side by side of each other they were looking at the leaves vast expanses from such a high alleviation.

"What do you want to say, Meera?," Agastya asked and looked at her.

"No, lies. No escape. Just the truth. And promise me, whatever we're discussing now, it's not-"

"Not going to affect our friendship. I promise. "He compelged her sentences. Beacuse he too knew she too feels something towards him. And she also knew that there's something from his side too. Both weren't fool enough to stay umware of the building connection between them.
All they needed was this, this moment to get relieved from this crawling feeling they were feeling.

"I don't know anything. I don't know how strong this has grown. But, the emotions I feel for is not solely platonic. And i know your thoughts about marriages, love, feelings. But I've never thought about future. I believe on present moment Agastya. And tht was the reason I couldn't backout and tunred my way and demanded for this discussion. Because i don't want to act on assumptions. And..,
And i.. want a clarity. Clarity from your side that in all these months even for a moment have you ever felt anything for me?. Beacuse the my instincts are saying that the attraction I was feeling it wasn't a mere one sided one. "She finsihed her sentences and looked at him, who for a moment looked down, released a sighed and started saying,

" I like you. I like your personality, your habits, your way of living and your thoughts. But how deep my emotions are ,im unknown to this. I have a fear. My shell, that I've made around me all these years to not enter into any relationship might pull me out of commitment. And this is not you want. You want a clarity, a commitment which i might not give you. And may be im unable to give you. But my feelings are not platonic for you, Meera. Not cheesy lines, but you've indeed changed my perceptions somewhat. You're, gradually breaking my shell. You're pulling me out of my fear. And i need time. Usually, girls meed more time, after having a bad experience.."

Saying this he chuckled lightly, and looked into her eyes, and continued

"But here, you've to be little more patient with me. And I am sorry for doing this to you. But i see..i..i see a chance of living us together. That.. that's why, im saying for now, let's be like this. And if you ever find anyone to spend your life with, you're not going to hold on to that prospect instead you're going with that decision. It's an irony, but still, here I want you to be little patient, but also asking you to moving on. It's.. just..just I don't want it hurt you. Beacuse I'm known to my habits. My fears
And they are dangerous. Trust me. I don't want to hurt you at all. But if i-"

"Relax. Relax.  Don't fear for the upcoming. Don't. Beacuse it kills the opportunities of present. And have trust. Trust on you, me, and our relationship. Because I won't let you skip off like that easily. Believe on my commitment. And by the time I'm handling the major shares in our relationship, you try to overcome your difficulties. And when you'll be ready to handle everything, you'll be having double amjor shares. What say?"
She said and smiled a little causing his to take her in his right embrace

"It's not love yet, but it can tune into it soon."
He whispered and kissed her temple..

"Just be yourself. And don't hold Agastya. Don't. And after a lot of difficult times I've developed some sort of romantic feelings for anybody. And do you think I'm leaving that opportunity even after knowing that's its not one sided at all" she said and parted.

"You know, youre my source of motivation. Hell bold. And now, I know how much efforts you put from your side in any relationship. And Meera, i..i promise you, that I'm.. I'm going to break my this shell, for you. I'm going to overpower all my problems just for you. To be with you. Because you're turning my every possible perception wrong. " He said and she happily nodded.

A heavy burden was uplifted or removed from their chest. A heavy burden of unsisd emotions. But we're contented, happy and satisfied with each other. And now, they were ready to wait for each other.