On Again, Off Again | Jikook

Chapter 9: Breaking the Cycle

Jungkook

4 Weeks Ago

I exhaled shakily as I stared at the foreboding mansion surrounded by the plants in which we got our namesake—nightshades. Back in "the day," the pack had the name Deadly Nightshade, but it was eventually shortened due to the connotations the weighty adjective brought. It was a reputation the pack had shed long ago in support of more peaceful thinking.

The pack, when it still went by its original name, was very alpha-centered. In fact, the pack was founded by and exclusively made up of alphas. As time went on, we absorbed other smaller packs, clans, and families, eventually getting rid of that rule. Perhaps, our history is why we had only had purebred alphas as pack leaders—hence the slightly outdated, less PC term, "Head Alpha," or merely "Alpha" being associated with the position. It was similar to how racist and sexist histories have barred non-men and people of other minorities from filling positions of power their cishet "dominant" male counterparts did. In other packs, alphas did oftentimes take up the pack leader positions, but they would often have a "Luna" as well, a role traditionally filled by the leader's omega mate. Lunas didn't have the same position as their mate and had to serve as a symbol of grace, fertility, family, and other similar values.

With our leads having only been amab purebred alphas, their afab purebred alpha counterparts took up similar positions and named "Head Mother" or simply "Mother." Never had we had an omega as the face of the pack.

So I was scared.

I was scared that my appa wouldn't approve of Jimin. I was scared the pack was too dead set in their antiquated ways and would retaliate against Jimin for not only being an omega, but a cis male one at that. Amab omegas in general dealt with terrible treatment. Most of them were shunned from packs because families would be excited to have a male alpha heir, only for them to be deemed defective and tainted. That's where some omega-only packs, such as the Artemis Pack, originated from—the lack of safe spaces within alpha-dominated packs. I wanted to shield my mate from these harsh truths, but after finally spending my time with Namjoon, I realized that I was in a way perpetuating these same behaviors by protecting an omega who didn't ask to be protected. Breaking down walls and being anti-bigoted is a never ending process instead of a fixed state. I knew that now.

My alpha bristled due to our shared anxiety. Although this place was once considered a home of sorts, we always preferred our apartment since Jimin was allowed there. Did that stop us from sneaking our dear omega around the pack house so we wouldn't be stuck at Appa's alone? Of course not. Sleeping in a bed without our mingled scents was a crime of the highest caliber. Sleeping on a couch instead of our nest had caused my alpha to grow dreary, only awakening when another wolf tried to get too cozy with us. Otherwise, I barely felt my alpha. However, the day Hae-won harassed Jimin and Soyoon, it was like the dam burst and I once again had to lock myself away and have Aera pick me up because my eyes were silver with red rings around the irises and my scent was a potent mix of my and Jimin's pheromones. I was partially feral and if Sohee hadn't gone, I would've been there myself. I instead had to calm myself by finishing up Jimin's care package and personally delivering it to his apartment.

"Y-Young Master Jeon!" a feeble squeak brought me out of my thoughts and I blinked at the small beta with her hair tied back into a neat bun. Her scent was swirling with confusion and she was accompanied by multiple guards.

"Hello, Miss Choi." I bowed and the older woman's eyes bugged out.

"Young Master, you mustn't bow to someone like me."

"You're older." I offered her a genuine smile. "You've also done a lot for me. You were the closest thing I had to a mother."

The older woman blushed and I walked up to her and held my hand out. She took it and I squeezed gently, looking down at her fondly. I still remembered how I was much shorter than her, sitting on her lap as she'd do my hair and that first day of school where I cried and hugged her leg tightly, begging not to go.