You know what hurt me the most?
I'm currently confused and lost.
About me, my childhood, my own feelings, people, surroundings and my future.
It's not that this is too much, but it seems like I'm being overdosed.
And I'm not gonna let my own oath just become loath.
I'm stuck in the present, thinking what I should have to aim to wrap my mind around.
I keep walking, running, stumbling, crawling and dying at the same ground.
Devoured by darkness while keeping myself to be light and hinder to be such a fraud.
Overthinker and overwhelmed by thoughts that is too loud.
During nights while the environment seems safe and sound.
Fortunately, I usually notice everything and prevent suicidal's from being bound.
I let my subconscious flow and let my tears fall as it was.
Because I believe that this is one of the remedies that I can grasp.
Since I can't afford to bring myself to the therapist.
I tried to focus and write down my list.
But my confusion is always getting away, and just want me to go in a peaceful place.
What kind of peaceful place do you want me to go? I ask as a stray crow.
My subconscious responds, your choice is it's either the heavenly places or the specific one.
I know that we're tired about everything, but please don't be a coward.
I'm trying our besties here in this big field of what we call "Our Future Towards."
Look, our wings are still remaining, it's not just the perfect time to use it.
But it's gradually spreading, and it's having a tremendous scar on it.
Maybe one day, the wings will soon be strong enough to flick up to the sky.
Where she is able to fly soon and reach her dream high.
Despite the lack of opportunity, while her disappointment has gripped her too tightly.
Her brain has a difficulty in making a decision that made her sometimes bright.
It was the reason why I chose to go in the places where it can ease my mind.
I chose to pause for the moment even though it takes too long because I am tired to grind.
I sip on my coffee when I started to pick the book of "Kafka on the Shore".
The ambiance of the cafeteria simultaneously to the instrumentation of piano jazz that makes a cure.
Re-reading this book really makes me think that Kafka Tamura is similarly to me.
I turned to another page and read the book's line in a whisper.
"I have to get stronger—like a stray crow." - Haruki Murakami.
I
