People are wondering why I don't have a boyfriend
Little they didn't know that I'm also wondering why I can't fall in love completely.
No, I am definitely falling in love but the thing is..
I'm afraid to might get hurt again, even though in reality
it's also panful just to act nonchalant.
to feel not pursued by someone and watch them to fade away.
I know my worth and whoever really want me, will definitely get me.
but whosoever makes me feel like a choice are cannot get the inner me.
In spite of falling in love, I will still choose to hurt myself rather than to let my guard off.
I am a women without a man that can live without men.
Because I came from a broken family, the cheated one, the seeker yet avoider.
An alpha female to figure out how to survive
and make out everything for my own family someday.
Afraid of responsibility but facing trials without my parents.
Impulsive and indecisive in decision but gradually gaining lesson learns.
shattered into pieces since childhood and here I am picking them one by one.
Trying to rebuild it again like how it used to be but there's still missing.
In spite of lacking something she still look wonderful and mesmerizing.
Trying to hold herself no matter how unpredictable the waves are.
She just goes with the flow even tho she's been drowning since the day one.
Trying not to repeat the same cycle from my grandparents that was passed for my parents.
Gotta be successful for my children and love them just like my parents do.
Gotta make a home that makes them safe whenever they got into trouble.
Because I don't want them to feel the same way that I did during my teenager and adult stage life.
Who runaway because of chaos that I grown from my own hometown.
Where my own home is the root of pain that I'm feeling til my 22 years, 6 months and 25 days.
