Assisting Miss Yu - Winrina

Chp. 30

KARINA'S POV

Kissing Winter had never been intentional, hell, it took me everything I had to keep my composure in front of her and not let her see the way she made me act. But when she had kissed me that night when she came home from the bar I had felt elated and destroyed all in the same instant.

She wouldn't understand the way I felt, she was still a teenager, someone who wasn't familiar with rules and consequences if you broke them. She knew it wasn't legal for student teacher affairs, but she didn't think anyone would find out. She didn't know things could get out, the wrong people could hear you over-talking, and then you're in a jail cell with the worst label possible as a teacher.

Thinking about the kiss, or more accurately kisses, made me feel anxious and sad which was a horrible combination. A week ago I had felt guilty and dirty, but when I began to actually think about what happened, the kiss had actually been pretty perfect.

I remembered the way her lips felt against mine, and how my heart had refused me sleep that night. I remembered the taste of Jack Daniels and cigarettes, but also the hint of mint gum she had probably chewed before entering the house. The way her hands felt holding my face to hers had been perfect, as if they were two things that fit perfectly together.

But I had to remember, Winter Kim was someone who did this with everyone. She knew how to do it, she was a pro, and I had probably been nothing but a challenge. I was her brother's best friend, someone who's older and much more mature, and I had let her win at her own game.

And here I was dwelling on how "perfect" I had thought it was.

She was probably going to fuck Yeji tonight with a smile on her face.

I mentally slapped myself, knowing Winter was probably cockier than ever inside her own head from me finally allowing her to kiss me. I had given her a victory, another trophy on her wall of accomplishments, and she was basking in the thought of how she had managed to do it.

"Karina, you okay?"

I looked up at Jungwoo who still looked a little shocked from Winter's outfit, "Yea, just a long day."

"Bad Friday at school?"

I nodded, not being able to answer him honestly with any words.

He sighed, "Would you like a drink?"

"That would be great."

***

I sat awake on the couch, feeling regret as I looked at the half empty glass of wine on the coffee table. Jungwoo and I had drank for hours while we talked about the last month, and now he was passed out in his room and I had no want to join him. I figured I would take the couch from now on, considering I no longer wanted to bunk with Jungwoo, and moving back out seemed like a good option now.

Why had I moved in here in the first place, with one of my students that I was actually attracted to? I was a horrible person, and just thinking about Winter made me sick to my stomach. I had gone from enjoying the kisses to utterly regretting every moment.

I guess alcohol made me bitter.

I stood, attempting to walk over to the sink to pour the rest of my wine out as I felt dizzy and light-headed. This was a horrible idea, but I was grateful tomorrow was Saturday and I had nothing to do.

Then reality hit me as I looked at the calendar hanging on the fridge.

Tomorrow was November first, the morning my sister had been found dead in her car.

The night quickly replayed in my head as I felt my heart ache from the memories. I remembered the phone call before, how she had sounded fine, as if nothing was wrong. How could I have not realized she was depressed?